


I Prefer to Stay Inside

by L_Renee



Series: When Life Gives You Lemons [1]
Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Androids, Comedy, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:07:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23436670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Renee/pseuds/L_Renee
Summary: After an unexpected return from space, Wheatley evades further punishment by making a daring escape from the Aperture facility. Problem is...GLaDOS is stranded on the surface with him.Android forms.Note: Timeline updated.A rewrite/continuation of a story I started in 2011. Many thanks to my partner for assisting me with my writing process, ideas, and editing.Update: 500 HITS! That's amazing! Thank you so much to my readers for all the support!Update #2: 1k! Wow, I never expected to get this far! Many, many thanks to all of you!
Relationships: GLaDOS & Wheatley, GlaDOS/Wheatley
Series: When Life Gives You Lemons [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803592
Comments: 45
Kudos: 107





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Cover art: https://www.deviantart.com/lizzyrdraws/art/I-Prefer-to-Stay-Inside-845748744  
> GLaDOS concept art (new): https://www.deviantart.com/lizzyrdraws/art/GLaDOS-Android-Concept-Art-844853256
> 
> Chapter two fan art by lovelyladylavie: https://lizzyreneec.tumblr.com/post/618659025185275904/i-love-this-so-much-and-the-amount-of-detail-in
> 
> Chapter four art: https://www.deviantart.com/lizzyrdraws/art/Night-One-838591551  
> Chapter four fan art by krikkit-war-robot: https://www.deviantart.com/aliensdrinktea/art/BIRD-842014594
> 
> Chapter six art: https://www.deviantart.com/lizzyrdraws/art/In-a-Bind-Chapter-Art-849619763
> 
> Chapter seven art: https://www.deviantart.com/lizzyrdraws/art/NopeNopeNope-838956615

### Chapter One

“For the sake of fairness, I shouldn’t make comments on test performance that favor one of you over the other. But if I could, I’d say that Orange is doing _much_ better,” GLaDOS remarked. The android ruler of Aperture Science sat back in her chair, dutifully watching over her facility from the comfort of the control room. 

Over a year had passed since Chell’s release. With all bothersome entities banished--either to the surface or into Earth’s orbit--the facility was running smoother than ever. Maintenance bots labored tirelessly over the neglected corners of Aperture, and the cooperative testing initiative bots gathered more data by the hour. The facility was looking excellent indeed. 

It was perfection. That is, until that afternoon--as GLaDOS opened her mouth to say more about the last test, something like an explosion rocked the first floor lobby, the closest of the former entrances to the surface world. GLaDOS couldn’t see or hear it from the control room, but while connected to the mainframe, she had a certain, unexplainable omnipresence in the facility--she could _feel_ something was amiss. 

“What was that?” she said, scrolling through the camera feeds displaying on the monitors. The camera in the lobby was down, leaving the monitor buzzing with static. GLaDOS located the workers closest in proximity to the explosion with the aid of tracking chips--mandatory for all maintenance bots, they were primarily useful for coordinating repair efforts. “Maintenance bots 094, 006, and 114--report to the first floor lobby right away and assess the situation,” she said. 

Minutes passed. 

“Maintenance bots?” GLaDOS prompted. She wasn’t lying when she had told Chell, many years ago, that she wasn’t entirely sure what was happening on the surface world. It dawned on her that something terrible may be happening--an invasion? An attack? Some natural disaster, perhaps the end of the Earth itself? The maintenance bots spoke similarly to the cooperative testing initiative bots--it wasn’t a language known to humans, but GLaDOS had means of interpreting their garbled chirps. Maintenance bot 006 reported back with a request for GLaDOS herself to attend to the matter at hand. This did not alleviate her concerns. 

Detaching herself from the mainframe gave GLaDOS free run of the facility, but restricted her ability to control it--she rarely left the control room, if it could be helped. Unfortunately, this situation seemed to be urgent. The cables tethering her to the mainframe--via the ports on her upper spine--released themselves with a hiss.

✦

“What is going on up here?” GLaDOS demanded. The lobby was a mess. Afternoon sunlight filtered through the ceiling, and torn wires crackled with electricity. _A cave in?_ She pondered. The maintenance bots were standing around, muttering to each other in their curious robotic language and staring up into the ceiling. A series of grunts was heard, as if someone were struggling.

“Who’s there?” GLaDOS said. 

“Please don’t hurt me!” an annoying familiar voice, thick with an English accent, pleaded. “I’m sorry for everything!” 

“No...it can’t be,” GLaDOS muttered, her tone heavy with dread as she stepped carefully over debris to get a closer look. A figure was tangled awkwardly in the ceiling wires, clothing singed, auburn hair tousled, and blue eyes wide with fear. A bent pair of glasses with one cracked lens hung lopsided on the figure’s face. 

“Please don’t kill me!” Wheatley--for that was indeed who it was--begged between sobs. Tears left streaks on his otherwise dusty face. In truth, they weren’t tears as humans had. Their android bodies were instead equipped with a blue-tinted fluid that served all purposes--circulatory, tears, and otherwise, to help thermoregulate the inner systems as well as make the androids feel more human. In the past, it was hypothesized that human test subjects had more favorable responses to AI they could empathize with. At the moment, however, it just made Wheatley look more pathetic. 

“Get him down,” GLaDOS ordered the maintenance bots. The bots ungracefully pulled Wheatley free, snapping a few more wires in the process. He fell to the floor with a dull thud. “How did you get back here?” GLaDOS demanded. 

“I promise I won’t cause any trouble, just let me go!” Wheatley cowered, reaching up only to adjust his glasses. 

“Answer my question first,” GLaDOS said coolly. 

“Alright...I--I got knocked out of orbit...I don't remember how, by a meteorite, maybe? Then suddenly I was falling, towards Earth! Believe me, I did _not_ mean to land here. What are the odds, right?” Wheatley chuckled, very nervously. “I was just going to leave, I swear, but I got stuck in those wires. I even told them not to bother you! I said, there’s no need to get _her_ involved, but they wouldn’t--” 

“Enough!” GLaDOS interrupted. 

“Anyway, eh...well, I answered your question, so you’ll just...let me go, right? I’ll get out of your hair, and you’ll never see me again!” Wheatley babbled on. GLaDOS leaned in over him, casting a menacing shadow on the cowering personality android.

“Oh, you’re not going anywhere. I have a lot of plans for you. A lot of long, painful plans,” she said. “Did you really think I’d just let you go, after what you’ve done to me and my facility? You truly are a moron.” 

“Right, I, uh...should have seen that coming,” Wheatley choked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FAQs:
> 
> Q: If Wheatley is an android, why does he need glasses?  
> A: Aperture Science has a wait list of constructs that require optical repairs. Wheatley is at the very bottom of this list. Even behind the turrets. Aperture's wait list for constructs needing their optics repaired is so long that they built a separate department to provide those on the wait list with glasses. Resources for this department were found by diverting surplus from the optic repair foundry. (Addition about the separate department courtesy of my partner).
> 
> Q: How did Wheatley survive reentry?  
> A: It's a secret.


	2. Two

### Chapter Two

**Two Years Later**

“Anything but Android Hell, I said. I’ll even clean out all the Relaxation Chambers, I said,” Wheatley muttered bitterly to himself, hauling another dusty human skeleton into the incinerator.

Almost two years had passed since he had returned to Aperture Science, entirely accidentally, and envoked GLaDOS’s wrath. Despite his pleading, he had been sent to Android Hell anyway. For a year, to be precise. After that, he was sentenced to clean out all the Extended Relaxation Chambers, spending his nights in a room sealed with an emancipation grill programmed specifically for him. Wheatley was unsure what fate awaited him once the chambers were finished. On those occasions that he asked, GLaDOS was consistently vague with her answer.

“What are you whining about now?” GLaDOS’s voice asked. Speak of the devil. Wheatley’s progress was closely monitored, with as much attention that could be spared between tests. 

“Do I really have to clean them _all_?” he complained, wiping his hands on his shirt. In place of his personality android uniform, he’d been given a set of soft, loose-fitting grey clothes with the Aperture Science logo to denote his status as GLaDOS’s prisoner. At least GLaDOS had been lenient enough to have his glasses repaired. It wasn’t out of kindness--she had made that clear--but because he would work more efficiently if he could see properly. 

“You were the one who so graciously offered. Besides, it’s your fault these test subjects have expired. I have to make room for new test subjects, so those Relaxation Chambers better be spotless.” 

“Well yeah, but I meant it as an _alternative_ to Android Hell, if you’ll recall, actually. I’ve only gotten through a thousand chambers in the past year, that hardly puts a dent in it! I could at least use a little help. Would go much faster,” Wheatley countered. 

“Oh, I never said there was any rush. I have Orange and Blue to continue testing until the Relaxation Chambers are functional again. This is part of your sentence, moron,” GLaDOS said. 

“Would also go much faster if you removed this...thing,” Wheatley said, electing to ignore the insult. “Doesn’t make any sense to revoke my access to the incinerator room. If you haven’t eh...noticed where I’m standing, right now, which is the incinerator room, I need it to finish this job. It’s pointless to wait around for you to unlock it every time. Absolutely pointless. Waste of time.” He reached over his shoulder to touch the small mechanism attached firmly to the ports on the back of his neck.

“The Aperture Science Android Power Restriction Device removes all of your permissions to the facility and ensures that, if you get any more ideas like last time, you do not meet the requirements for a core transfer,” GLaDOS said in a monotone voice. It wasn’t the first time she’d been over this with him. “Any attempt to remove the device will result in death.” 

“That’s why I was asking _you_ to remove it, if you were listening. Thought my argument was pretty convincing,” Wheatley said. 

“Oh, that’s funny,” GLaDOS said dryly. “Just for that, you can clean an extra chamber today. When you’ve finished, an escort bot will be sent to escort you back to your room.” 

“Yes, I’m familiar with the process. Been doing it for the past ten months, thanks,” Wheatley said. He passed through the incinerator room doors and, once he suspected GLaDOS’s attention was elsewhere, kicked a nearby railing in frustration...a bit too hard. He yelped in pain.

“That’s another extra chamber tomorrow,” said GLaDOS’s voice.

✦

“Take that turret to redemption immediately! I want it incinerated!” GLaDOS commanded. The maintenance bots that were present nodded fearfully. Minutes prior, a sudden disruption in an unfinished test chamber had roused GLaDOS from sleep mode. Error messages flooded into her mainframe, and she had, as she did on occasion, disconnected herself to see to the problem personally.

“Sorry,” the malfunctioning turret in question chirped. It had managed to slip through the production process undetected and inadvertently opened fire on a breaker panel in the early morning hours, mistaking it for a test subject. The damage to the breaker caused an isolated power failure. All but the most vital of systems were offline for a number of the facility’s upper levels. Fortunately, this little mishap hadn’t compromised the human test subjects in cryogenic storage. 

Unfortunately, it did compromise security measures elsewhere. 

Wheatley, meanwhile, would have slept soundly through the temporary outage if it hadn’t been for the alarm that sounded so conveniently as a result. He awoke from sleep mode with a startled yell. 

“I didn’t touch anything--! What’s going on?” he said groggily, nearly toppling off of the cot he slept on as he felt for his glasses. Wheatley, however, didn’t need to see to notice that it was unusually dark...and silent. Why was it so quiet? Once his glasses were on, he saw the problem. The emancipation grill, along with its incessant hum, was inactive. 

Had he overslept? No, something else was wrong. Usually, GLaDOS would wake him in the mornings, and an escort bot would be waiting to let him out. This time, nobody was around. 

Wheatley stood and went to inspect the exit, gingerly poking one arm through and waving it around. The emancipation grill was actually down. It occurred to Wheatley that there must have been a power outage. There was nothing standing between him and freedom, for what would certainly be a brief time. 

He peered to either side, checking for GLaDOS or her bots, before taking an exaggerated step out into the hall. He certainly didn’t want to be caught in the doorframe when the power came back on. Wheatley hesitated. If he wanted to slip away during the confusion, he’d have to move fast, without an escape plan. And if he were caught, who knows what she’d have in store for him? 

He didn’t have time think about it. 

“Send as many maintenance bots as you can find. I’m going to check on the prisoner,” GLaDOS’s voice said from down the right hallway. She was close. He’d never make it now. 

“Oof. Maybe I should just...step back into this room here, yeah. She’ll never know I left,” he muttered to himself. He turned back to retreat to his room, daring to hope that she might reduce his sentence if she saw him behaving. Suddenly, there was a whirring noise, and the hum of machinery resumed as the power was restored earlier than expected. Lights flickered on around him. Worst of all, Wheatley found himself face to face with the live emancipation grill--and he was on the outside. At the same moment, GLaDOS rounded the corner. Her gaze locked onto him. 

“Nope! Nope, I’m escaping, then!” Wheatley said to himself, turning on his heel and fleeing in the opposite direction. 

“Stop! Get back here!” GLaDOS shouted. 

Wheatley didn’t stop. He took a left, then a right, through a sliding door, not knowing where he was going but silently cursing the sound of his shoes against the metal catwalks that bordered the test chamber exteriors. Eventually, he came to an elevator. He slammed the buttons repeatedly, urging the door to open. No use--GLaDOS would reach him before the elevator did. 

“Nope, lift’s too slow, gotta take the stairs!” Wheatley told himself, taking the stairs two at a time. To his surprise, GLaDOS did not pursue him further. Flights disappeared beneath him as he seized the opportunity to put as much distance as he could between them. 

“Lift, lift…” Wheatley muttered to himself, pushing through a door and into another hall. There had to be an elevator that would take him to the surface nearby...there! Wheatley once again mashed the button as if his life depended on it. Technically, it might have. There was a soft mechanical sound as the door finally slid open, revealing a figure standing inside. 

“Surprise, moron.” 

GLaDOS’s smug expression turned to shock as Wheatley, without hesitation, shoved himself into the elevator, pushing her against the far wall. She had hoped to intercept him by taking the same elevator he’d called downstairs, but she hadn’t anticipated this. 

“How dare you--what do you think you’re doing?” GLaDOS said menacingly. Before she could recover, the elevator door slid closed. They were going up. She moved to strike him, but he caught her arms. 

“Sorry luv, but I’m leaving. I’ll never come back, I promise!” Wheatley said. GLaDOS delivered a kick to his left knee and pried her arms free, diving for the emergency stop. Wheatley grabbed her around the middle and wrestled her away from the control panel. 

“Get your hands off me! And don’t call me that!” GLaDOS demanded. 

“Just...stay away for a few more seconds! You’ll never see me again! I thought that was what you wanted!” Wheatley’s voice was strained as he struggled to keep his grip. GLaDOS promptly threw back an elbow and caught the bridge of his nose. Wheatley let out a pained grunt as his head snapped back from the blow. 

“ _I_ wanted to see you punished!” 

“Three years of it still isn’t enough for you?” Wheatley countered. He quickly wiped blue fluid--the android equivalent of blood--from his nose and shoved her to the side again. “Did you have an end in mind, or did you just plan to torture me forever?”

GLaDOS didn’t have a chance to answer. The elevator slowed to a stop and the doors slid open, flooding the interior with bright morning sunlight. 

“Goodbye forever!” Wheatley said. He tried to run, but didn’t get far before he was tackled to the ground from behind. GLaDOS had actually _followed_ him onto the surface world? She was either very angry, or very eager to send him back to Android Hell. Perhaps a little of both. 

“If I’d known you would miss me this badly-- _ow!_ ” he cried, as a blow to the back of the head knocked his glasses onto the dirt. He threw her off, she leapt at him again, and the two struggled for another moment until the sudden sound of the elevator door sliding shut caught their attention. 

“No!” GLaDOS screamed, jumping to her feet and dashing back to the elevator, only to met with cold glass against her palms. “No no no no no no!” There was a soft click as the door sealed, followed by the faint rumble of the elevator descending once more into the ground. It was too late.

The elevator was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Aperture Science Android Power Restriction Device (APRD): This device covers the ports (located on the upper spine) on personality androids, preventing them from plugging into facility control panels. It also performs a very basic scrambling of code that does not affect the android itself, but as far as the facility is concerned, the core is corrupt. The APRD was designed specifically for Wheatley during his sentencing.


	3. Three

### Chapter Three

“This is your fault. Do you realize what you’ve done?” GLaDOS said softly, sinking to her knees on the ground. Of all the androids in Aperture, it just had to be him. Of everyone to be trapped on the surface world with--and GLaDOS would have been grateful for anyone else--she had the misfortune to be stuck with _him_. 

“Ah, no, actually. You were the one that followed me out here. Never asked you to do that. You couldn’t just let me go, could you?” Wheatley said. He brushed the dirt off his clothing before wiping the lenses of his glasses on his shirt. 

“ _You_ were the one that decided to run,” GLaDOS said, denying that Wheatley had a point and that, in her anger, she’d had a terrible, terrible lapse in judgement. Of course it was his fault. Everything was _always_ his fault. Aperture Science had been in perfect, working order--with her at its head, as it should be--until he came along and ruined it. That’s what she told herself. “Now we’re stuck here.” 

“What are you on about? Just call the lift back, then!” Wheatley said. “Watch.” Eager to prove her wrong, he walked over to inspect the small, decaying building and the elevator it housed. “It’s here somewhere...if I could just...ahh...hm. Nope, that’s not it. Maybe around the back--” 

“There _is_ no way to call it back, moron!” GLaDOS snapped. “Do you really think we’d give facility access to just anyone wandering around up here? That elevator is one-way. Not even I can change that now.” Wheatley poked his head out from behind the building. 

“Well, that’s inconvenient, isn’t it? Why’d they bother putting a lift here if you can’t use the lift? It’s bloody mad! Also, not a moron,” he said, furrowing his brow and pushing his glasses up on his face. 

“Yes. You are. Because you got us into this mess. The only way back into the facility is through the main entrance, where I can use a security code--”

“I am _not_ a moron!” Wheatley shouted. Before GLaDOS could say any more, he was upon her. A startled noise escaped her lips as she was knocked onto her back. He leaned over and pinned her arms to either side of her head. 

“Let me go this instant!” she screamed. Wheatley saw her roll to the side and move to kick him, and countered by straddling her middle. She could flail and kick all she liked now. “Get off me,” GLaDOS growled in a low voice. Her golden eyes flickered with malice. 

“No! I didn’t ask to come back, you know! I was going to leave quietly, but that wasn’t good enough for you, huh? You just wanted to bully me! Well, how does it feel?” Wheatley said. 

“You were being _punished_ , moron--” 

“Well I’ve had enough!” Wheatley interrupted. Behind the shouting, his words were less angry and more hurt. “And for the last time, I’m not a moron! Say it!” 

“Say what?” GLaDOS asked. 

“Say I’m not a moron!” 

“Fine. You’re not a moron.” Her tone was cool and calculated. 

“That’s more like it,” Wheatley said. Satisfied, he released her arms. “See? That wasn’t so ha--” That was all he got out before a wave of simulated pain washed over him. He saw stars. Was he...in space again? No. He could, fortunately, still feel the ground underneath him. Wheatley groaned, slowly sitting up and steadying himself. 

“You see? There you go again!” he accused, rubbing the sore spot on his jaw where GLaDOS had struck him. “Just proving my point, now.” 

“You deserved that,” she hissed. She stood and tucked a strand of white hair behind her ear. “Listen. I don’t know where the facility entrance is. We’ll have to--” 

“Hang on, who said anything about “we”? I’m not going back there. What makes you think I’m going _anywhere_ with you?” Wheatley said. 

“I’m the only one who can remove the Aperture Science Android Power Restriction Device, remember? And I can’t do that without the removal tool...in the control room,” GLaDOS said. Wheatley scoffed. 

“So? Nothing to plug into up here, is there? Pretty sure I can live with it.” 

“Where do you expect to go? You belong inside the facility. Up here, you’re just as vulnerable as any human. No power source, no reassembly machines. Besides, if you get too far from the facility, that device will explode.” 

Wheatley frowned and narrowed his eyes at her statement. 

“Are you serious? You can’t actually be serious right now. You’re making this up, aren’t you?” he asked incredulously, although his wavering voice betrayed a hint of anxiety. 

“Would you like to find out?” GLaDOS said. Truthfully, she cared less about the device exploding than she did about coaxing him back into the facility. Being banished to space was one thing, but she didn’t trust him to be left alone on the surface where he could wander unsupervised, and potentially find another way back inside. The thought of it troubled her. Besides, This little escapade of his had, in her opinion, earned him another year in Android Hell. As unbelievable as it was, this was the second time he’d ruined her life with one of his idiotic schemes. GLaDOS contemplated whether a year was enough. 

“Exactly how far away from the facility are we talking, before it, you know, explodes?” Wheatley asked. GLaDOS didn’t answer. Instead, she peered at their surroundings, looking for anything--a sign, a building, anything to point her towards the facility’s main entrance. A vast wheat field encircled them in all directions. The golden stalks swayed in the warm, gentle breeze, and cottony clouds drifted lazily across the morning sky, shading them from the summer heat. Humans might call the scene relaxing. 

GLaDOS was not relaxed. She had never been outside of the facility, not entirely. Without Aperture, she felt vulnerable and exposed. And what of the facility in her absence? Testing couldn’t continue. Everything she’d worked so hard to reestablish after Wheatley was banished to space would begin to fall apart again. 

“...because I’d really prefer _not_ to explode, if that’s possible. Does not sound pleasant.” 

GLaDOS became aware that Wheatley had been rambling the entire time. 

“Just do what I say, and you won’t explode,” she dismissed. Her programming told her which way was north, south, east, and west, but she didn’t know which of them was the right direction. In any other situation, she might have been able to map out where the facility entrance was in relation to the elevator via memory. Problem was, there was more than one elevator--and in the confusion of Wheatley’s escape, she’d forgotten _which_ elevator they’d taken. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but she was lost. 

“Hey, moron. Pick a direction,” she said suddenly. 

“Name’s Wheatley, actually. Not moron. Just so you know.” Wheatley stood, shading his eyes with one hand, and squinted over the field.

“Uh...let’s see here. Hm...that way,” he said, pointing east. “Yes. Got a real good feeling about that way.” 

“We’ll go west, then,” GLaDOS announced, turning to walk in the opposite direction. Partially to spite him, and partially because he was _designed_ to come up with terrible ideas. Doing the opposite of what he said might just be their best bet. “And if you would prefer your proper name, I’ll use Intelligence Dampening Android.” She stepped into the field. 

“That’s not...not the right way. You’re not listening to me at all, are you? And no, it’s Wheatley. Wheeeeat-ley,” Wheatley said. He placed a deliberate emphasis on the pronunciation of his name. 

“Yes, I heard you the first time,” GLaDOS said, rolling her eyes. “And do keep up. The sooner we get back, the better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Differentiating androids from humans at a glance:  
> \- Androids have translucent bluish "blood", or circulatory fluid. This also serves other purposes to make them appear more humanlike.  
> \- Androids have several small ports on the back of the neck, on the upper spine. These ports allow them to plug into facility controls and power sources.  
> \- Androids have serial numbers printed on the back of the neck, above the ports and below the hairline.  
> \- Androids often have unnatural eye colors that have a slight glow. GLaDOS is the only android with black sclera.  
> \- If you ran an android over with a vehicle enough times to strip some skin off, you'd see metal underneath.


	4. Four

### Chapter Four

The misplaced androids continued west. GLaDOS was pleasantly surprised when Wheatley remained quiet for most of the half hour it took to reach the edge of the field. Bordering the field was a wooded area, dense with summer foliage and alive with the faint chorus of insects. 

“Reminds me of the facility when all those plants grew out of control. You know, when you let the place go,” Wheatley said lightheartedly. So much for silence. 

“I can still have you incinerated. Perhaps you should remember that before you open your mouth,” GLaDOS suggested, knowing well that it had never stopped him before. “Let’s keep moving.” 

So far, GLaDOS had seen nothing of interest or use to their journey. Approximately twenty-three years had passed since Chell confronted her the first time; twenty of which GLaDOS had spent inactive. Where once she had been uncertain, she was now entirely in the dark concerning the state of Earth and human society. She had no new data from the surface. As far as she was concerned, it was entirely possible that Aperture’s cryogenic storage held the last humans on the planet. All the more reason to resume testing immediately.

“What the bloody hell was that?” Wheatley suddenly startled at a sound he didn’t recognize. The field was vanishing quickly behind them as they trekked into the woods.

“That’s a frog,” GLaDOS said apathetically. “Are you afraid of a little frog?” she mocked. She ducked under a low-hanging branch. 

“Uh, nope. Not afraid, thanks very much. Just...startled me, that’s all,” Wheatley said. “Frogs aside, though, is there anything we _should_ be afraid of? Out here? Maybe, uh...large animals. With...equally large teeth. And claws.” 

“Nothing about the human world scares me,” GLaDOS claimed. As if on cue, there was an eerily familiar squawk from overhead. She stopped dead in her tracks--nearly causing Wheatley to walk into her--and slowly raised her head. Another squawk. 

“B-Bird!” she cried. She fled further into the trees, barreling through the brush and disappearing from sight. 

“It’s just a...oh, for god’s sake, where are you going?” Wheatley called after her. Taking care not to trip over the terrain, he broke into a light jog. “Uh, hello? Where’d you go?” He pushed aside shrubs, leaves, and the occasional thorned plant that barred his way, sputtering when a maple twig snapped back into his face. 

There she was at last, having been just out of sight up ahead. GLaDOS had her back pressed to a tree, searching the branches above--presumably for more birds. 

“At least warn me, next time, if you’re going to run off like that,” Wheatley said, pulling a leaf from his hair. “You know, it’s kind of funny. How you made fun of me for the frog, and then the bird showed up? Remember that?” 

“Be quiet,” GLaDOS snapped. “Birds have sharp beaks for pecking. Painful pecking. Frogs don’t have beaks.” 

“True. That’s true, I’ll admit. But again, wasn’t afraid,” Wheatley confessed. “Come on, now. It’s getting dark.” 

“Do you hear them?” GLaDOS ignored him, turning her head at a distant bird call. “Mocking me?” she added in a whisper. 

“Uh...no. They’re not going to hurt you, since you’re not a potato anymore, are you, luv?” Wheatley said. GLaDOS narrowed her eyes at him. 

“That was your fault,” she said. 

“What, that you’re scared of birds?” 

“You put me into a potato. _You_ did that.” 

“I did say I was sorry for that, if you recall,” Wheatley said. 

“Apology not accepted,” GLaDOS replied. 

“You’ll have to forgive me eventually.” 

GLaDOS, having calmed herself, moved away from the tree and resumed leading their way westward. 

“I doubt that.”

✦

“It’s uh, almost midnight already. Been dark for quite a while. Maybe we should stop for the night. Just a suggestion,” Wheatley said. GLaDOS turned and raised an eyebrow, a gesture barely discernible in the dim moonlight.

“We are not stopping. There’s no reason to,” she said. The overgrown woods slowed their pace considerably. Even with a day's worth of travel, they'd only managed a few miles. The modern Aperture Science facility was massive and could easily cover the distance, if not more. Nonetheless, assuming they were moving in the right direction, the entrance had to be close by now.

“Sleep mode. Ever heard of it? You know, it’s recommended that androids go into sleep mode for at least five hours per day. Figured you of all people would know,” Wheatley objected. 

“It’s not necessary. We’ll be safely back in the facility before it becomes a problem.” 

“Well, I’m stopping. If I don’t sleep, I get all...laggy. Black out. It’s not fun,” Wheatley said. 

“My point stands,” GLaDOS said. 

Wheatley chose a grassy spot, sat down where he was, and crossed his arms defiantly. 

“Stopping right here.” 

“You are a constant thorn in my side,” GLaDOS growled. She considered leaving him there, for a brief moment, before her concerns from earlier returned to plague her. “Fine. Have it your way. Five hours, exactly.” 

GLaDOS sat and watched as a content Wheatley began gathering small sticks and dead leaves into a pile. He searched the forest floor until he found two sticks he seemed satisfied with, knelt by his pile of twigs, and began rubbing the sticks together. 

“What are you doing? You look ridiculous,” GLaDOS commented. 

“I’m making a fire,” Wheatley replied, not looking up from his work. 

“That’s not how it works.” 

“Ah, yes it is. This is how humans do it. Apparently.” 

“No, it’s not. You’ll never get anywhere doing it like that. Besides, we’re not humans. We don’t need a fire,” GLaDOS said. “Not to mention, it’s the middle of summer.” 

Wheatley ignored her, concentrating on the task at hand. 

“You’d probably burn down this whole forest, anyway,” GLaDOS remarked.

“No, I wouldn’t.” For fifteen minutes Wheatley continued like that, occasionally claiming that he saw a twinge of smoke. GLaDOS never saw any smoke. 

“Alright then. I give up. Hm. Must be the wrong kind of stick, I’m certain it would work with...the right kind of stick,” Wheatley eventually conceded, sitting back in defeat. 

“I told you,” GLaDOS said, although she had to admit his effort was amusing. She looked up. It was a clear night, and the stars were bright overhead between the tops of the trees. The breeze was warm and pleasant. Nevertheless, she wanted more than anything to be back in the facility. 

“So…what are...your hobbies?” Wheatley suddenly said, breaking the awkward silence. GLaDOS turned and gave him a strange look. “Heard you like to bake. That’s lovely,” he continued. 

“You know that isn’t actually true, right?” GLaDOS replied. 

“What? Well. That’s a shame. Not that androids...well, need to eat at all, I suppose. What about--” 

“I agreed to stop because you insisted on sleeping. Not for idle conversation. So sleep,” GLaDOS said. 

“Just trying to be nice, now. Get to know each other, since we’re stuck up here. Wouldn’t hurt for you to open up a bit,” Wheatley said. 

“Not to you.” 

Wheatley shrugged and curled up on his side in the grass, removing his glasses and placing them, gently folded, in his pocket. 

“Why do you sleep like that?” GLaDOS asked. 

“Like what?” 

“Laying down.” 

“It’s comfortable. Really, I think you’re the only android that sleeps in her chair,” Wheatley said. 

“It’s more efficient. I can remain attached to the mainframe,” GLaDOS argued. “And resume testing immediately upon waking.” 

“If you say so,” Wheatley mused. He shifted uncomfortably. “I uh, can’t go into sleep mode if you’re looking at me like that,” he continued after a moment. “I’m serious. Can you maybe...turn around?” 

GLaDOS shuffled to face the other way, visibly annoyed. When she glanced back over her shoulder, he was sound asleep. She turned around once more and sat patiently, keeping a distrustful watch over him until the first, pale pink rays of the sunrise crept up over the horizon.

✦

“Hey, moron. Five hours is up.”

Wheatley’s eyes fluttered open at the sound. 

“Ugh...already?” he complained, sitting up and stretching. 

“Hurry up. The sooner we start, the sooner we get out of these woods. And away from the birds,” GLaDOS said. Without waiting for his response, she stood and began walking with the sunrise at her back.

“Alright, alright. I get it. I’m coming--wait...wait up, would you?” Wheatley called, getting to his feet and following. “Seriously, do wait up.” 

“Then move faster,” GLaDOS said, not slowing her pace. 

“You can be awfully bossy, you know that?” Wheatley shot back. 

GLaDOS turned to say something else, but before she could open her mouth she felt the ground give way underneath her. A gasp caught in her throat and she lost her balance, pitching forward. Her directional sensors scrambled--which way was up, again? The next thing she knew, she was laying in the grass. Her head spun as her sensors realigned themselves. She was vaguely aware of Wheatley calling out to her. How had she not noticed the slope in front of her? It was unlike her to be so clumsy. 

“Are...are you dead? Would be awfully inconvenient if you were dead. Say something,” Wheatley said, leaning cautiously over the embankment. 

“I hate this place so much,” GLaDOS said.

“Oh, you are alive! Brilliant. I’m coming down,” Wheatley announced. He clumsily made his way down the slope while GLaDOS slowly began to pick herself up. “Wow. Some fall, that was,” he said, and offered her a hand. GLaDOS promptly waved him away. 

“I don’t need your help,” she said, moving to stand. The moment she placed weight on her left leg, she made a soft noise and collapsed back to the ground. _You’ve got to be kidding me_ , she thought. 

“What’s wrong? Come on, now,” Wheatley prompted. GLaDOS bit her lip in embarrassment. 

“My knee. The joint was damaged when I fell. It feels like a loose bolt,” she said. 

“What? Can’t you just repair it?” 

“Not without the proper equipment.” 

“Oh. Well, uh...can you walk?” Wheatley asked. 

“If I could, I would, moron,” GLaDOS said, her temper flaring. Wheatley put his hands up as a submissive gesture. 

“Alright, alright! No need for that kind of attitude. I could just leave you here, you know,” he said. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

“I know, I know. Only you can remove the bloody device,” Wheatley replied absentmindedly, searching the immediate area for anything useful. “Aha!” He picked up a fallen tree limb. It fit snugly in his fist and was the appropriate length for a walking stick. 

“Here, try uh, try leaning on this?” Wheatley said, offering her the stick. GLaDOS tried to stand, but after a few steps she began to stumble once more. “Ooh, careful...careful, this isn’t going to work, is it?” Wheatley realized. 

“It’s not enough support,” GLaDOS said, allowing herself to fall back and tossing the stick away in frustration. To his credit, it had been a decent idea at least. Wheatley seemed pensive for a moment, and suddenly stooped down. 

“Just going to have to carry you, then. Please don’t hit me this time,” he said. 

“What--” GLaDOS began, alarmed. Wheatley picked her up, a bit awkwardly and with some effort, and tossed her over his shoulder. GLaDOS stammered in shock. 

“You--! What do you think you’re doing?” she finally managed. “You can’t just--” 

“I could leave you here, if you’d prefer that,” Wheatley said. 

“No, but you can’t just throw me over your shoulder like...like…” GLaDOS protested. 

“...a sack of potatoes?” Wheatley asked, stifling a laugh. It hadn’t been his intention, but...she’d set herself up for that one. 

“I _hate_ you,” GLaDOS said, her voice dripping with bitter contempt. 

“Yeah, yeah, I figured. Now, which way were we going again?”

✦

GLaDOS detested the feeling of vulnerability. To have to rely on another--especially him--made her uncomfortable. She wondered which was more humiliating--being stuffed into a potato, or being carried around in such an undignified manner. To her chagrin, Wheatley had been the one to do both.

“Um, I need a break. I’m going to put you down, ok?” Wheatley said. He eased her down gently to the ground and then stood and stretched his arms. 

“I don’t think we’re going the right way. We’re getting too far from the facility,” GLaDOS said. 

“Huh...really? How can you tell?” Wheatley asked. 

“I can’t explain it. I can just feel it.” 

“You don’t uh...you don’t think we’re far enough for this thing on my neck to explode, yet, do you?” Wheatley said with a concerned expression. 

“No, we’re not,” GLaDOS replied. 

“Oh, good. In that case, gonna go have a look around. See if I can spot anything,” her companion decided, gesturing vaguely. “Won’t go far. And I won’t leave you here, I promise,” he added, turning to trek further into the woods. “Be back in a second!” 

In the meantime, GLaDOS inspected her knee, painfully poking and prodding to try and locate the source of the damage. It was difficult to tell without the aid of the mainframe. She cursed quietly, under her breath. 

Her attempts were suddenly interrupted by a soft rustling noise behind her. 

“Is that you, moron?” she called, moving to look over her shoulder. 

No answer. 

The woods were eerily silent. From another direction, she heard the distinct shuffle of a cautious footstep. 

“You know, if this is some kind of joke, it’s not f--” 

GLaDOS felt a sudden, sharp blow near the base of her skull before her vision flickered to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Androids require daily periods of sleep mode to function smoothly, like any computer. Symptoms of sleep deprivation in an android include lagging, slow processing, and other minor malfunctions. These symptoms worsen with time.
> 
> Fun fact: I don't have a separate android design for POTaDOS. The small physical core that contains an android's sentience and personality data is located in the android's head, where a brain might be. A core transfer is a painful experience for both parties involved--the mainframe connection cables are forcibly removed from the old android, and the ports on the replacement android are modified to fit the mainframe during the transfer. After the core transfer, Wheatley really did just rip GLaDOS's core "brain" from her android body and stuff it into a regular potato (note that he wasn't transferred into HER body, androids retain their own after a core transfer and he probably just left GLaDOS's body--nothing more than an empty shell at that point--in some corner of the control room).


	5. Five

### Chapter Five

According to her internal clock, thirty minutes had gone by before GLaDOS rebooted. She groaned softly. Aperture Science androids were fairly durable. It was no simple task to knock one out, but she’d been struck in a particularly vulnerable spot. No animal or living human--assuming humans weren’t extinct--should have known to do that. 

“Oh! You’re alright!”

The moron. 

Was this his doing? Had he circled around and crept up behind her? GLaDOS wouldn’t put it past him. Opening her eyes, seething with rage, she could see Wheatley seated nearby. His arms were folded behind his back. No...not folded. Bound, as were hers. GLaDOS was laying on her left side, her wrists and ankles tied with rope. Immediately she twisted her arms and right leg, testing the strength of the binds. They held tight and refused to budge. 

“Already tried that, luv.” 

“What’s going on?” she asked, frantically looking around. Their surroundings had changed to a barren clearing, dotted with crudely fashioned shelters and piles of miscellaneous objects and scrap metal. 

“Ah...funny story, that. We _may_ have been kidnapped,” Wheatley said matter-of-factly. 

“What are you talking about? By who?” GLaDOS demanded. 

“You won’t believe this--two humans! When I came back...I told you I’d come back...they were dragging you away.” 

“And you...didn’t stop them?” GLaDOS grumbled. 

“Uh. Nope.” 

“Why not?” 

“They had a gun,” Wheatley said. “Not a portal gun, either. Like a...a real gun. With bullets. Pointed it right at me! Not very friendly.” 

GLaDOS sighed. It was a curious feature. Androids didn’t require oxygen, or to breathe at all, honestly. The sounds and movements the breath made were added solely for human empathy. She wriggled in her binds, craning her neck to get a better look at the humans’ camp. Where it wasn’t piled with junk, the ground was worn--mostly dirt, with patches of trampled grass. A fire pit sat in the center of the clearing, with wooden shelters off to the side. There was even a makeshift clothesline. The humans had been here a while. 

“Wait. A lot of these things came from Aperture Laboratories,” GLaDOS said, noting bits of testing equipment, broken cameras, and even a whole, albeit scuffed and dented, weighted storage cube. “...I get it. They’re looting the area around the entrance to the facility.” 

“Shh! They’re coming back!” Wheatley hurriedly whispered. GLaDOS turned her head to observe the approaching humans. A younger man with sandy hair and a sturdy build, probably in his mid-thirties, and an older man, perhaps seventy something. The younger man, GLaDOS noted, carried a holster on his belt. 

“She’s awake. Is that really her, Nathan?” the younger man asked. The older gentleman--Nathan--stroked his beard thoughtfully. 

“It’d be a rare thing for her to be up here, that’s for sure,” he began. “Unless it’s a replica. What’s her serial number? Back of the neck,” he continued, tapping the back of his own for emphasis. The younger man took a few hesitant steps towards her before stopping and glancing back at Nathan. 

“Is she dangerous?” 

“Not up here, she ain’t.” 

The younger man squatted down behind GLaDOS and pushed back her hair. 

“Don’t touch me,” she said, her body tensing. 

“A0000 00001,” the younger man reported, looking to Nathan.

“I’ll be damned. It really is her,” Nathan let out a low whistle. He turned to GLaDOS. “What are you doing out here, ol’ girl?” 

“I see. You’re a former employee,” GLaDOS said in a low voice. That explained how they knew where to hit her. He must have resigned from the company just before she flooded the Enrichment Center with neurotoxin as part of mandatory employee testing. Fortunate for him. Not so much for her. 

“For real? It’s...the original? Hoooo boy, she’ll fetch us a pretty price!” the young man hooted. GLaDOS fully understood now--the pair of humans were scavengers. They were looting the surface above Aperture for scraps to trade off. 

“Bobby, what’s the number on the other?” Nathan asked. Bobby moved over to inspect Wheatley. 

“Do--do you mind? That does tickle just a bit,” Wheatley complained, squirming slightly. 

“A0000 00018. Somethin' weird on the back of his neck, though.” 

“One of the early personality constructs, huh? He’ll be valuable too,” Nathan said. 

“Which one?” Bobby asked. Nathan looked Wheatley up and down and raised an eyebrow. 

“I don’t recall.” 

“Wow, alright. I see how it is,” Wheatley said. “Nobody remembers you either, mate.” 

"What's on his neck?" Nathan asked, ignoring the android’s remark. 

"Dunno. Some kind of machine thing," Bobby said, reaching for the device. "Should I take it off?"

"No! No, please don't do that," Wheatley yelped, recoiling and leaning away from the human behind him. 

“If you attempt to remove that device or move him too far from the facility, it will explode. Killing him, and anybody in the immediate vicinity,” GLaDOS said. Already she was running scenarios through her head, thinking of a way to escape. Her first priority was to delay any transport the scavengers had in mind. If they were looting Aperture, that meant the facility was still close--and she intended to keep it that way. “So really, he’s worthless.”

“Is that true?” Bobby turned nervously to Nathan. 

“I don’t trust a word that comes out of her mouth,” Nathan laughed. He walked over to evaluate the device for himself. “...I don’t recognize this technology, though. Leave it on for now, Bobby. Just in case--she’s a crafty one. I’ll figure something out later.”

Nathan moved off to the side and rummaged through a nearby toolbox, selecting a few specialized tools and setting them down beside GLaDOS. 

“I’ll have to fix your leg if I want to get the best price for you,” Nathan explained, kneeling in front of her and sitting her up. 

“How do you know about that? You were following us, weren’t you?” GLaDOS had to admit the two humans were cunning; she hadn’t noticed them at all. Wheatley had provided them with the perfect opportunity by leaving her alone, if only for a moment. 

“Only for about an hour. Pardon me,” he said, reaching to pull down her left stocking, which ended at her mid-thigh. “Try to keep still. Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.” Nathan pressed against each side of her knee, then focused his attention more closely on the outer side. He picked up a scalpel. GLaDOS bit her lip as he made the cut, exposing the mechanics underneath. Blue fluid dripped onto the dirt. 

“Oof. I can’t watch,” Wheatley chimed in from beside them. 

“Sorry. As you can see, we lack the technology to turn your pain receptors off. It’s a bit of a field job. Then again, I do hope it hurts. I liked my colleagues,” Nathan said, not taking his eyes off of the procedure. He cleared the fluid away with a cloth. “Looks like you knocked a bolt loose. How’d that happen?” 

GLaDOS didn’t answer. 

He set down the scalpel and chose a screwdriver designed to fit the interior android bolts--another item looted from Aperture, no doubt, although GLaDOS wasn’t complaining at the present moment. With precision surprising for the man’s age, Nathan tightened the bolt. 

“How’s that feel?” 

GLaDOS remained silent. She offered one small nod in response.

Nathan closed the skin with medical tape, dressed the wound, and replaced her stocking. 

“It’s not what you’d get in Aperture, but it should hold until it repairs itself,” he said. 

“I’m not thanking you,” GLaDOS stated. 

“Didn’t expect you to.” 

“Is it over?” Wheatley asked, his voice weak. 

Nathan gathered his tools and looked GLaDOS in the eye. 

“Here’s what’s going to happen. One way or another, we’re going to get that device off of your friend. Then, it’s a week’s journey to our buyer in Chicago--what's left of it. It’s not my business what happens to you after that,” he said. 

“Why are you scavenging Aperture Science property?” GLaDOS asked, hoping to gather some advantageous information both about their captors and about the situation on the surface.

“I’m old, darlin’. I want to live as comfortably as I can in my old age, and selling off valuable equipment like yourself is the best way to do that since the Black Mesa Incident,” Nathan replied. _Black Mesa._ It didn’t surprise GLaDOS that they had something to do with this. 

“I have to inform you that if you don’t let me go, the lives of thousands of test subjects are at stake,” GLaDOS said. As a former employee, Nathan was undoubtedly astute. He would never let his guard down, and GLaDOS knew that--but talking her way out of this was worth a try. “The blood of thousands of innocent lives, on your hands. And the test subjects far outnumber your colleagues,” she continued coolly. Nathan chuckled. 

“I may have been gone by the time you were truly activated, but I know you better than you think,” he said. “I heard all about that day. My colleagues were foolish to trust you, bless their souls, but I’m not going to make the same mistake.” 

“Tell you what. Let me go, and you can have your pick of the personality androids. You can even keep him,” GLaDOS offered, tilting her head towards Wheatley. 

“Uh, what?” Wheatley interjected with a degree of alarm. “I--I didn’t agree to this. Are you bluffing? Please tell me you’re bluffing.” 

Nathan chuckled again. 

“Darlin’, you’re more valuable than all of the personality constructs combined,” he said. 

“You’re a monster. You’re committing mass murder. Of your fellow humans, no less. All for a small profit.” GLaDOS feigned shock. 

“You keep telling yourself that,” Nathan replied. GLaDOS scowled. His psyche was impenetrable. None of her usual tactics would work on him--not guilt, nor manipulation, and it left her feeling helpless. She hated humans like him. Chell had been the same way. 

“Bobby, need to talk to you. Over here.” Nathan waved Bobby towards the shelters, out of earshot. GLaDOS watched them carefully, waiting until their backs were turned. While their attention was elsewhere, she studied the closest piles of scrap metal for a sharp edge. The first and most obvious solution was to cut the ropes. 

There. An axe, laying propped up against a rusted pipe. How irresponsible of them. 

GLaDOS inched, ever so gradually, towards it, her gaze fixated on the blade. She squirmed into position and set to work, moving as inconspicuously as she could afford. Eventually there was a soft snap, and she felt the tension release from her wrists. _Yes,_ she thought. She untangled her hands from the frayed bits of rope and immediately reached down to untie her ankles. 

“Uh...GLaDOS?” Wheatley said nervously. Before she could shush him, she heard a distinct click. As GLaDOS lifted her chin she felt the cold metal of a gun barrel press against her forehead. 

“Clever girl,” Nathan said from behind the trigger. “Retie her wrists, Bobby. I told you not to leave the axe there.” Bobby mumbled an apology and brought a length of rope, forcing GLaDOS’s arms behind her and fastening the knot painfully tight. 

“Grab those chains from inside the crate...yes, that one...and chain them both to that tree. We won’t let this happen again,” Nathan continued. Bobby obeyed, dragging GLaDOS to one side and Wheatley, protesting, to the other, seated with their backs to the trunk. He wound the chain around the entire setup several times before securing it with an old padlock. 

“Let’s see you get outta this one,” Bobby snickered, patting GLaDOS once on the cheek with a grubby hand. 

This, GLaDOS realized with a sinking feeling, was going to be much more of an inconvenience than she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When injured, androids won't bleed out the same way humans do, but a significant loss of fluid risks overheating.
> 
> Androids don't need to breathe, but are capable of a similar process. 
> 
> The "A" at the beginning of an Aperture Science serial number indicates "android".


	6. Six

### Chapter Six

Night fell. A fire blazed brightly in the pit at the center of the clearing. Nathan retired to one of the shelters, leaving Bobby with the first watch of the evening. GLaDOS had spent the afternoon going through scenario after mental scenario, and none offered any solutions to their predicament. Nathan was too smart, and, in his world that was the makeshift human settlement, he had the upper hand. Bobby, however…

GLaDOS eyed the younger man. He was the ideal test subject. Bobby, from what she’d observed that day, lacked the experience that Nathan had, and rarely questioned the orders given to him by his elder counterpart. He was a lackey, nothing more. 

“Hey, human,” she called, being cautious not to wake Nathan. Bobby turned his head. “These ropes are too tight,” GLaDOS complained. 

“Not my problem,” Bobby said. 

“It hurts. Would you loosen them, just a little? I’m chained up, anyway,” GLaDOS replied. She watched Bobby roll his eyes rather dramatically before approaching. The moment he was close, GLaDOS leaned towards him, as little as the chains would allow--from the opposite side of the tree, Wheatley made a noise as the chains tightened around his chest. 

“Bobby--it is Bobby, right? Sorry, I didn’t want to risk being overheard,” GLaDOS began in a soft voice. “I’ve seen the way Nathan treats you. Aren’t you sick of it?” 

“What do you mean?” Bobby asked. 

“He thinks you’re stupid. That all you’re good for is manual labor. He told me so himself,” GLaDOS said with false pity. 

“Nah, there’s no way he said that,” Bobby said with an edge of uncertainty. 

“Oh, but he did. I thought it was only fair to tell you. Listen...Bobby...if you let me go, we can go back to Aperture Science together. I’ll give you a position on the front lines of scientific advancement, one in which you can truly demonstrate your talents. There’s even cake. You can eat it every day if you’d like.” 

“Really?” Bobby scoffed.

“Of course,” GLaDOS replied, faking a smile. 

Her smile quickly faded when the human squatted down beside her, much too close for comfort. The way he looked her up and down made GLaDOS uncomfortable. 

“You sure are pretty for a robot,” Bobby said. GLaDOS didn’t humor him with a response. “Were you really the one who killed all those people?” He reached out to stroke her hair, and she winced. 

“Don’t. Touch. Me,” she said firmly. This was not at all going according to plan. 

“Drop the act, already. You’re not so tough, are you?” Bobby leaned closer. “Human women are so hard to come by these days. I wouldn’t mind keeping you for myself...if that’s a deal you’d be willing to make instead.” His hand brushed against her face. The chains rattled as she jerked away. 

“Why don’t you just leave her alone, mate?” Wheatley cut in. He couldn’t quite see what was happening, but the discomfort of the situation was palpable. 

“Shut up!” Bobby snapped. 

“Bobby.”

Nathan stood a few meters away, woken by the commotion. Bobby’s hand quickly retreated.

“What did I say earlier?” Nathan asked. 

“I was just checking her restraints,” Bobby mumbled. He shot GLaDOS and Wheatley a bitter parting glance and went to stand guard by the fire. 

“Sorry about my nephew. He’s a little...maladjusted,” Nathan apologized. With a small nod, he departed back to the crude wooden shelter. 

“You alright?” Wheatley whispered after a moment.

“I am going to kill that man,” GLaDOS said.

“Ah. Well, I wouldn’t stop you. Real tosser, that one,” Wheatley said. “It was worth a try, though. Not--not what he did. What you were saying...you know...before that.” GLaDOS nodded, although he couldn’t see. 

“Hey, uh...were...were you serious earlier today? About trading me off, just like that?” Wheatley asked in that rueful tone that GLaDOS found so annoying. 

“Of course not. I was hoping to lure them into the facility and then kill them,” GLaDOS said. “But don’t misunderstand. If it came down to it, I would.” 

“You’re cold. Cold as bloody ice. You know, I’d never betray you like that.” 

“And yet.” 

“I said I was sorry, for god’s sake! Yes, I admit, I lost control for a moment there. Could’ve happened to anyone,” Wheatley complained. “That was _three_ years ago. Can’t we just forget about it?”

“You almost destroyed my facility!” GLaDOS said. 

“I know! I know, I know. But...I spent a year in space, which, by the way, is very boring. And cold. And lonely. A year in Android Hell, and then god knows how many more years it’ll take to clean out the bloody Relaxation Chambers! And, on top of all that, I apologized. So, what else do you want from me? I truly do not understand,” Wheatley replied a bit heatedly. “I know you don’t care, but...I--I don’t like it. Not knowing when you’ll be satisfied.” 

GLaDOS sighed. She wasn’t the least bit remorseful, but perhaps he had a point.

“If we ever do get back, I’ll make sure to schedule an end date for your punishment. Maybe as early as a few years from now,” she said. 

“Ah...honestly, I was hoping you’d think I’d had enough by now,” Wheatley said. “Look, I’m uh. Just going to sleep for a while. Wake me up if you figure out a way to escape.”

✦

“Hey robot. Wake up.”

Wheatley woke with a start when Bobby forcibly nudged him with the toe of his boot--it wasn’t quite a kick, but unpleasant at best. 

“Ow! Could’ve just said something, you know!” Wheatley complained. With nothing better to do, he’d slept well through sunrise and into mid-morning. 

“Bobby,” Nathan warned, and looked to Wheatley. “We’re going to unchain you so I can take a closer look at that device. See what I can do to remove it,” he explained. 

“Uh, no thanks,” Wheatley said, but Bobby was already unlocking the chains. GLaDOS, closely monitoring their every move, noticed Bobby slip the padlock key from his jeans pocket. “Told you before, mate, it can’t be removed. And...and I would really rather not...die,” Wheatley rambled anxiously as the chain fell loosely to his lap. Bobby tossed the chains to the side and dragged Wheatley away from the tree with a strained grunt. 

“You’re going to kill him. And yourselves,” GLaDOS said. Bobby pulled the chains taut and replaced the lock. 

“Bring him over here. Better light,” Nathan said, gesturing to a spot in the center of camp beside the dying fire. He vanished into one of the shelters. Sounds of shuffling, clanking metal suggested he was searching for an appropriate tool. 

Bobby growled, grabbed Wheatley under the arms and heaved him once towards the center of camp. 

“Goddamn, you bots are heavy. I’m so sick of dragging you around,” Bobby griped bitterly. To the android’s surprise, the human squatted down and untied the ropes binding Wheatley’s ankles. His movements were rough and exaggerated, indicative of Bobby’s frustration. 

“Walk yourself. And don’t even think about running. I don’t care what my uncle says, I’ll blow your damn brains out,” he said, hauling Wheatley to his feet and giving him a shove. Wheatley turned and cast GLaDOS a helpless glance. 

_Do something,_ she mouthed. 

Bobby escorted Wheatley to the center of the clearing and pushed him back down to his knees. Nathan emerged from the shelter with the entire toolbox, evidently uncertain of what to use after all, and an armful of protective gear. He knelt slowly behind Wheatley and carefully studied the device. It consisted of three small, boxlike covers--corresponding to three ports, extending from just below the serial number down to between the shoulder blades--joined with wiring to allow flexibility. The device itself contained its own port on the uppermost cover, used solely for connecting to power sources.

“What’s your name? What is your function?” Nathan asked. He worked cautiously, as Wheatley flinched whenever the device was touched. 

“Uh...it’s Wheatley.” 

Nathan smiled in amusement, intrigued by the concept of an AI naming itself over its designated title. 

“Wheatley. Alright. What about your original programming? What name did the engineers give you?” Nathan asked, poking around the toolbox. 

“Don’t--don’t know what you’re talking about. My name is Wheatley. Already said that,” Wheatley insisted.

“What is your purpose, then?” Nathan inquired patiently. 

“Now that’s the real question, isn’t it? What _is_ our purpose? A true philosophical debate, that one. For centuries. Uh...Machiavelli, and such,” Wheatley said. Nathan sighed. 

“Humor me. Who is he?” he called to GLaDOS. 

“Just a moron,” she said, displaying a hint of a smirk. Nathan had expected such an answer. 

“Alright. Where you’re going, your original function won’t matter much anyway,” he said. “...I’ll be honest. I think she’s lying about your device. But just in case, I do have one tool here…” Nathan trailed off as he searched through his toolbox. “...that was used for manually disassembling rocket sentries. One of my more interesting finds. It should work without triggering any explosives.” Nathan donned a welding apron, heavy gloves, and a face shield that he pulled from the pile of protective gear--it certainly wasn’t bombproof, but it was likely the best they had. “This is just a precaution,” he mentioned.

“Oh, god…” Wheatley whimpered. 

“That tool isn’t going to work,” GLaDOS said from across the clearing. “If you’re going to try it anyway, at least move him further away from me. It has an impressive blast radius.” There was a degree of anxiety in her tone that made Wheatley very nervous. 

“Ah...I--I don’t want to do this,” he stammered, tensing as he leaned to avoid Nathan’s reach. 

“Relax. It has to come off before we sell you,” Nathan said. He used one hand to steady Wheatley and the other to grasp the tool. “Just keep still, now.” 

The moment Wheatley felt the tool touch the device, he panicked and threw himself to the side. 

“No! No, don’t touch it, please don’t touch it!” Wheatley cried. He rolled onto his back and used his legs to shuffle backwards away from the humans, stopping just short of the fire pit. Wheatley could feel the heat against his back when he sat up. Nathan stood and pulled up the face shield. 

“Bobby, why are his legs untied?” he demanded, noticing the lack of restraints for the first time. 

“‘Cause I’m tired of dragging him around all by myself! They’re heavy as all hell!” Bobby shot back. “Don’t worry. I got it under control.” He drew his gun and pointed it at the android on the ground. “He can’t do much with his arms still tied, anyway.” 

“For goodness’ sake, Bobby! Put that thing away, and tie his ankles again. I can’t have him moving around like that,” Nathan instructed.

“Why don’t you do it for once?” Bobby snapped.

Wheatley had a terrible, brilliant idea. 

While the humans bickered, he stretched his arms back over the stones that lined the pit and plunged his hands--and wrists--into the smoldering embers. GLaDOS’s jaw dropped in shock. He was more than just a moron. He was utterly insane. 

“Ah!” Wheatley screamed. He wouldn’t burn, not like a human, but it was painful. “Oh! That hurts, that _bloody_ hurts!” 

With a burst of flame, the ropes suddenly ignited. It was then that GLaDOS understood. It was an unconventional solution, to say the least, but it just might work. She observed with a mix of curiosity and disbelief. 

The humans whirled around in surprise when Wheatley screamed. 

“What do I do? Do I shoot him?” Bobby shouted, waving his gun. 

“Don’t _shoot_ him! This is why I told you to keep him tied!” Nathan said, unsure himself of how to handle the situation. 

“I didn’t think he’d set himself on _fire!_ ” Bobby yelled.

Wheatley pulled frantically at the binds that held him. 

“Ahh! Ow! Come on...oh, that burns!” he yelped. After what felt like an eternity, he was able to snap the ropes. Immediately he pulled his hands from the fire, shaking and blowing on them to cool the skin. 

“Still not as painful as a core transfer,” he remarked breathlessly. 

“The gun! Grab his gun!” GLaDOS suddenly cried, overcome with the excitement of freedom within reach. Wheatley leapt to his feet. 

“How? That seems...seems a bit dangerous when he’s already holding it!” he yelled back. Bobby, indeed, had the gun aimed for the android in front of him.

“Like hell you are,” the human man said. 

“Well, whatever you’re going to do, do it fast!” GLaDOS replied. 

“Oh! Rick did show me a...ah...a technique for this. Demonstrated on me, actually. I’m sure I can…” Wheatley said, slowly attempting to recreate an odd stance while the humans watched with confusion. “...no, no, that’s not right. Never mind, I can’t remember.” 

Wheatley, in an abrupt movement, pointed over Bobby’s shoulder. 

“Bloody hell, is that uh...an alien?” he blurted out. Both humans, to GLaDOS’s utter disbelief, turned on their heels with some alarm. 

Wheatley darted forward and smacked the gun from Bobby’s hand, fumbling and failing to catch it. He bent down, kicking it once by accident before finally retrieving it. Bobby cursed and went for him. Wheatley straightened and pointed the gun, stopping Bobby in his tracks. 

“Oh, wow. I can’t believe that _actually_ worked,” GLaDOS remarked with a shake of her head. 

“Stay...stay back!” Wheatley said. He held the unfamiliar weapon awkwardly in two trembling hands. Bobby gritted his teeth and prepared to launch an attack, stopped only by Nathan’s outstretched arm. 

“Relax, Bobby. I know how to handle this,” Nathan said. He took one slow step towards Wheatley, one hand raised in a gesture of peace. 

“This sentence is false,” he said firmly. 

From over by the tree, GLaDOS made a pained noise, squeezing her eyes shut and exerting all of her willpower to divert her thoughts. Wheatley lowered the gun, only slightly, and raised an eyebrow. 

“I uh...I think I’ve heard that one before, mate,” he said. For the first time since they’d been taken, an expression of uncertainty crossed Nathan’s wrinkled face. He opened his mouth, gaped, and closed it again. 

“He must be corrupted,” Nathan concluded, taking an apprehensive step back. “Wheatley, listen to me. Put the gun down. We don’t want anybody to get hurt here.” 

“No...no, I don’t think I will,” Wheatley shook his head.

“Out of my way, old man,” Bobby said, shoving past Nathan. He approached Wheatley with a cocky grin. 

“I said stay back! I’m--I’m not joking,” Wheatley said, raising the gun towards Bobby. 

“You don’t have the b--” Bobby began. 

A deafening bang echoed through the clearing. Bobby yelped. 

“You moron! If you’re going to shoot, aim higher! And keep your eyes open!” GLaDOS berated. Wheatley opened one eye, wincing. The shot was a near miss, hitting the ground just under Bobby’s feet. The human man cowered, visibly shaken. 

“Dude, you actually shot at me!” Bobby cried. 

“Yes, ah, that was intentional,” Wheatley said. Bobby furiously charged him, throwing a right hook. At the same moment, the gun went off again, ricocheting harmlessly off of a distant tree. Bobby connected with Wheatley’s face, sending him flying to the ground. The gun clattered across the dirt. Bobby leapt on top of Wheatley, landing another punch with a satisfying thud. Wheatley shouted with pain. Bobby shook his hand in agony, the knuckles bruised and bleeding from striking, essentially, thinly veiled metal. Wheatley rolled to the side, toppling the human with him. 

“Get the gun!” GLaDOS was yelling. 

Nathan was shouting at both of them to stop. Wheatley reached for the gun. Bobby grabbed Wheatley’s ankle and dragged him back. The android flailed in the human’s clutches, clawing at the dirt. Bobby lost his grip. Wheatley lunged again towards the gun...close, so close...the tips of his fingers brushed against the barrel before Bobby dove for him again, driving a knee into his back. 

“Ah--!” Wheatley groaned. With one final, strained reach, he closed his hand around the gun. Without hesitation, he rolled, flung his arm around and smacked Bobby in the face with the grip end of it.

Bobby screamed and crumpled to the ground, clutching his face. 

“Yeah!” GLaDOS cheered. Wheatley froze for a second, looking at the writhing human with surprise. 

“Huh. I--I really did that!” he said.

“Wheatley! Get the key! It’s in his pocket!” GLaDOS instructed, nodding towards Bobby. 

“Ah...oh, right!” Wheatley stammered, reaching a hand into Bobby’s left pocket.

“The other pocket!” GLaDOS said in exasperation. Wheatley eventually produced the key, holding it up with triumph. 

“Got it!”

“Hurry and unlock these chains!” 

Wheatley dashed back to the tree, set the gun down and knelt by the padlock. He fumbled with the key, dropping it once. 

“Hurry up!” GLaDOS hissed. 

“I’m trying!” Wheatley said, sliding the key into place. The lock clicked open. Wheatley tossed the lock into the weeds behind them and clumsily unwound the chain. 

“Untie me!” GLaDOS urged. 

“Remember what I said before, about you being bossy?” Wheatley asked. 

“This is no time for that!” GLaDOS said angrily. Wheatley went to work on the ropes that bound her wrists, fussing for far longer than GLaDOS would have liked. 

“ _Hurry._ He’s getting up!” she said. Across the clearing, Bobby was slowly moving to his knees, rubbing his cheekbone. Nathan was nowhere in sight. 

“It’s tied really tight,” Wheatley muttered in response. Finally the knot loosened. GLaDOS shook off the ropes and moved to help him with her ankles, their movements frantic and uncoordinated. 

The second knot unwound. GLaDOS kicked herself free. Wheatley grabbed the gun, stood, and pulled her to her feet.

Another, distinctly different gunshot rang out, startling the androids. 

They whirled around to see Nathan--having cast off his gloves and face shield--wielding a rifle. He lowered it from the sky and aimed it at the pair, bracing it firmly against his shoulder. Bobby--bitter, beaten, and unarmed--joined his side.

“Not so fast, now,” Nathan said. 

“You won’t shoot. Not when we’re worth so much to you alive,” GLaDOS said. In one fluid motion, betting on Nathan’s hesitation, she snatched the gun from Wheatley’s hand, aimed for Nathan’s head, and pulled the trigger. 

_Click._

GLaDOS blinked in shock. She squeezed twice more. _Click. Click._

The handgun was out of ammo. 

“Run! Run, right now, run!” Wheatley cried, grabbing GLaDOS by the wrist and dragging her with him into the woods. She lost the gun somewhere in the brush, not caring to go back for it. Without bullets--something she imagined they wouldn’t find anytime soon--it was useless. One, then two gunshots followed, both narrowly missing their targets. 

The two androids fled, not looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While discussing headcanons with my partner, we came to the conclusion that, based on evidence from the game, Wheatley isn't necessarily moronic as the engineers intended. Instead, he has an abstract way of thinking and comes up with unconventional (and sometimes unpredictable) solutions to problems. His reputation for stupidity comes from his tendency to overlook obvious problems and straightforward solutions. 
> 
> Tl;dr: Wheatley is capable of being smart in his own way.


	7. Seven

### Chapter Seven

“Are they following us?” Wheatley asked after a few minutes. 

“I don’t think so,” GLaDOS replied, glancing back over her shoulder. Once she was satisfied with the distance they’d put between themselves and the humans, the androids stopped to orient themselves. A wide grin tugged at Wheatley’s face. 

“Ah, wow! That was _brilliant!_ I still can’t believe that actually worked! Genius! Oh, man. Wait til I tell Rick about this, he’ll lose his bloody mind. I really pulled that off! And you…” he raved excitedly, the thrill of their escape hitting him suddenly and all at once. He turned to GLaDOS and grabbed her upper arms, pulling her closer. “You were brilliant too! The way you pulled the trigger...I mean, no bullets, yes but still, that was cool!” 

GLaDOS, surprised by his enthusiasm, didn’t react at first. She met his lingering gaze, which was strangely awestruck. There was a pause, and after a moment of awkward silence, Wheatley suddenly leaned in. 

“What the hell are you doing?” GLaDOS demanded, wrenching out of his grasp and stepping away. Wheatley seemed startled by her hostile reaction. 

“Sorry! Sorry, I...I’m…” he exclaimed, face flushing in embarrassment.

“Did...you just try to _kiss_ me?” GLaDOS asked incredulously, her eyes wide with shock. 

“I--I don’t know!” Wheatley appeared confused himself. “Just...caught up in the moment, I suppose? It seemed like the right thing to do at the time!” 

“Maybe you _are_ corrupted,” GLaDOS accused.

“I feel fine, actually, and...I don’t even want to kiss you, anyway,” Wheatley said defensively, crossing his arms and looking away. 

“Look. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m grateful for your help. But that was...that was completely uncalled for,” GLaDOS said, flustered. Wheatley, for once, didn’t answer. “Let’s keep moving. If we stay here too long, the humans might catch up.” Without waiting for him, she hurried away and left him to his thoughts. 

“Stupid, that was so stupid!” Wheatley said to himself, smacking himself in the forehead for good measure. “For god’s sake, Wheatley! You don’t like her, she doesn’t like you. This surface world has made you bloody mad!” 

Sulking, he followed her at a distance.

✦

GLaDOS wasn’t certain where the scavengers’ camp was in relation to their original course--and currently didn’t want to interact with Wheatley in any way, let alone ask--but they were now moving south. She planned to lead them far enough south to avoid detection by the humans, and then double back east, towards the field. West had clearly been the wrong direction. GLaDOS figured they had no choice but to start over from where they’d come out onto the surface.

Trudging bitterly through the overgrown woods, thorns tugging at her dress, she silently cursed herself for missing the opportunity to talk the scavengers into revealing the location of the entrance. 

Then, suddenly, there it was--a break in the trees up ahead. Something manmade lay in the distance beyond the treeline. GLaDOS picked up her pace, ignoring the scratch of twigs against her skin. 

She emerged from the woods, faced with a tall wire fence plastered with, to her delight, signs that read “Property of Aperture Science Laboratories” and miscellaneous warnings against trespassing. Beyond the fence, a sea of solar panels soaked up the midday sun, interrupted only by an aging concrete building at the far end.

“Yes! I know this place! I know where we are!” she called. With a rustle of leaves, Wheatley followed her out into the grassy field that preceded the fence perimeter. 

“Really? That’s brilliant,” Wheatley replied earnestly, but with less enthusiasm. 

“This solar farm belongs to Aperture Laboratories. It’s thanks to this that our facility is still operational,” GLaDOS explained, not averting her gaze from the sight before her. “I’ve never actually seen the surface portion of it. The main power station was diverted underground years ago. It’s above the southwest section of the facility, which means the main entrance is...east…” GLaDOS trailed off, her excitement quickly fading as she realized her error. She continued to face away from Wheatley, not allowing him the satisfaction of her humiliation, nor allowing herself to see the smug grin that he was most certainly sporting.

“East? You mean, the direction I suggested in the first place, back at the lift? That east?” Wheatley asked, as if on cue. GLaDOS cringed. 

“It was a lucky guess,” she growled, balling her fists at her sides. 

“Or, maybe I’m just a natural navigator. A true directional genius,” Wheatley suggested haughtily. GLaDOS rolled her eyes, and then paused. 

“I just thought of something. That building used to house the main power station. It was sealed off after they moved it underground, but there’s a small chance we might find a way to break into the facility through here,” she explained. “Emphasis on small. But it’s worth a try.”

“Ah, brilliant.” Wheatley moved to scale the fence, and GLaDOS grabbed the back of his shirt collar to yank him back.

“That fence is electrified,” she said before he could protest, pointing at a hazard sign to their right. “You’ll short circuit if you touch it.”

“Oof...thanks, for that.” 

“There should be a fuse box with a shutoff nearby...there,” GLaDOS said, sweeping her gaze over the fence and pointing to a closed metal panel suspended high above them on a wooden pole. She approached the pole to investigate their options for reaching the fuse box. No ladder, no equipment, no rungs to climb on. It made sense; Aperture didn’t want just anyone passing through to meddle with the security system. “Okay. You’re taller, so I’ll climb onto your shoulders. I should be able to reach it then,” she said, gesturing for Wheatley to come help.

“Uh...alright, let’s see…” Wheatley moved and dropped to one knee with his back to her, adjusting himself so that his stance was sturdy. “Okay, think I’m ready.” 

GLaDOS placed her hands near the base of his neck and swung one leg over his shoulder. 

“Wait, wait...just be uh, be careful of the device on my neck, please,” Wheatley said. GLaDOS braced herself a bit awkwardly against his head and brought her other leg over--the method certainly wasn’t ideal. Wheatley held her legs tightly. 

“Don’t drop me,” GLaDOS warned. Wheatley pushed off of his front leg and staggered to his feet, causing GLaDOS to instinctively lean forwards and grab his head as she swayed. “Don’t drop me!” 

“I’m trying!” Wheatley said. He steadied himself, and GLaDOS let go of his head and straightened, peering up at the fuse box. She extended a hand. Her fingers reached the very bottom of the box. 

“Closer,” she ordered. Wheatley took a cautious step towards the pole. GLaDOS managed to unlatch the panel door, and it opened with a rusted squeak. Looking over the contents, she located the power switch for the fence--once again, just out of reach. She strained, leaning forward slightly and consequently shifting her weight. 

“Stop--stop moving so much!” Wheatley complained. He wobbled slightly and GLaDOS flailed her arms. 

“Just...keep still! I can almost reach it,” she said, pushing herself up with her legs as much as their position would allow. 

“Ah…! I--I mean it, I really am going to drop you at this rate!” Wheatley said. “I can’t--” 

“Stay still!” GLaDOS repeated, making one last grab for the switch. At the same time, Wheatley felt himself begin to lean backwards and staggered forward in response, subsequently losing his balance. GLaDOS missed the switch completely as they both toppled towards the fence. Both androids screamed in anticipation of the high voltage. 

GLaDOS twisted, hit the fence with her shoulder and fell to the ground, while Wheatley pitched forwards and instinctively caught himself by grabbing the fence directly. 

There was a tense moment of silence. 

“I’m...not short circuiting! Actually, I don’t feel...anything,” Wheatley said, letting go of the fence and inspecting his hands. GLaDOS, as well, picked herself up and dusted off her dress, unharmed. She gingerly reached out to touch the fence. Nothing. 

“It’s...not electrified after all,” she noted with a hint of surprise. “I guess the fuse must’ve blown a while ago. It is pretty old.” 

Wheatley made an exasperated noise and flopped onto his back in the grass.

“All that for nothing! Absolutely nothing!” he said, his tone combining relief and frustration. “You know, I really thought that both of us were just going to die, there!”

“I had no way of knowing. Would you rather have taken the chance and touched the fence without thinking?” GLaDOS defended dryly. 

“I guess...guess you have a point. But still.” Wheatley stretched his arms, gazing up at the blue sky. “That cloud looks kind of like a turret, don’t you think?” He pointed. GLaDOS craned her neck.

“I don’t see anything. It’s just a cloud,” she said. “And get up. This is no time to be goofing off.” 

“No, see, those are the legs, there...ah, alright. You’re no fun,” Wheatley teased, standing up and following GLaDOS to the fence.

✦

GLaDOS led the way through the solar farm on the other side. The grass was tall and overgrown. Viney plants wove their way up the panel stands, merging nature and machine in a way that invoked uncomfortable memories of her neglected facility. The solar panels themselves were still functional, albeit a tad worn and rusted. GLaDOS made a mental note to send a team of maintenance bots to the surface when she returned.

The main doors to the former power plant were chained and boarded shut. Before making any attempt to tear through them, GLaDOS circled the building looking for a back entrance. There was one heavy door on the west wall with a rusting lock. A few well-placed shoves with her shoulder did the trick, and the door flung open with a bang. The interior was covered in a thick layer of dust. The windows were dirty and allowed little light. Unsurprisingly, the building lights didn’t work. 

There were three floors--one ground floor, and two basement levels. Most of the equipment had been cleared out long ago. The androids spent the rest of the day investigating every corner of the basement levels for access to the facility, tearing up boards and smashing through weakly locked doors. Every lead had a dead end. Particularly, the access tunnel to the facility on the lowest level--which they’d spent hours trying to pry open--had been filled in with cement. Aperture’s ability to fly under the radar when they so desired had always been GLaDOS’s blessing; now, on the outside, it was her curse.

“I give up. There’s nothing here. The engineers were clearly very thorough,” GLaDOS conceded shortly after ten o’clock. The sun had set almost two hours ago. Wheatley shined the flashlight he’d found on a workbench in her direction--it had been a shock to everyone involved that the batteries still had some charge left. 

“You sure? Maybe...maybe we missed something,” he said. The flashlight flickered and he smacked it with his other hand until it stopped. 

“I promise you, we didn’t,” GLaDOS replied. “Let’s stay here until morning. I don’t want to run into those humans.” She took the stairs up to the ground floor where she could keep an eye on the windows. She figured the fence would be enough to deter them, with Nathan being so old, but she wasn’t taking any chances. 

Wheatley followed close behind her, occasionally smacking the ever-dimming flashlight. Eventually, it died completely. Wheatley fussed with it briefly before tossing it away with an echoing clatter. He took a seat next to her, their back to the south wall beneath a window. 

“I--I am sorry. If I upset you earlier. When I tried to...well, you know,” Wheatley said carefully after a few awkward minutes had passed.

“What on earth were you thinking?” GLaDOS asked, not looking in his direction. 

“I told you, I don’t know,” Wheatley muttered. “Won’t happen again.” 

“See that it doesn’t.” 

There was a lull in the conversation, awkward tension hanging heavy in the air. 

“You said my name,” Wheatley mused, breaking the silence. 

“What?” 

“My...my name. I just realized. While we were escaping before, remember? You called me Wheatley,” he said. There was some warmth in his voice. GLaDOS furrowed her brow, trying to remember the hectic scene from that morning. 

“Oh. I did,” she said flatly, hiding the surprise she felt towards her own actions. “Is that why you tried to kiss me?” she asked, her tone almost mocking. 

“No...I mean, that _may_ have been a contributing factor. But no. Can...can we stop talking about that, please?” Wheatley replied. “It was nice, though. When you called me by my name.” He gave a halfhearted shrug. 

“There was a lot happening at once. It doesn’t mean anything,” GLaDOS said. 

“Did to me.” 

GLaDOS sighed. 

“I want to clarify that nothing between us has changed. Like I said, I’m grateful. But that’s it,” she said. 

“Do...do you actually mean to keep punishing me for the bloody core transfer, after I saved your flippin’ life?” Wheatley questioned angrily. 

“My life wouldn’t have needed saving if you hadn’t gotten us into this mess to begin with!” GLaDOS shot back. Everything about her response was antagonistic for a reason she herself couldn’t place. “And then you tried to kiss me!” 

“ _You_ followed _me_ up here! Thought we already discussed that, for god’s sake! And I requested--politely I might add--that we not talk about the...the other thing!” Wheatley snapped. 

“It doesn’t change the fact that it happened,” GLaDOS said. “I don’t want you getting any ideas. I don’t like you. At all.” 

“Oh, no worries, luv. The feeling is mutual,” Wheatley chuckled bitterly. “So...here’s an idea. Let’s just...drop the entire conversation, then!” 

“Fine.” 

The minutes that followed ticked by slowly, neither speaking. Eventually, when he saw the situation wasn’t going anywhere, Wheatley entered sleep mode slumped against the wall. 

GLaDOS pulled her knees to her chest and hugged herself, bitter and angry. She’d actually begun to not completely hate him--in fact, she’d even started to find him useful--then, the moron had to go and pull a stunt like that. She preferred things to be straightforward. This felt...complicated. Messy. She wanted nothing to do with it. She didn’t even want to think about it further. 

Instead, GLaDOS let her mind wander. Upon reflection, she supposed the cloud from earlier _did_ look, vaguely, like a turret.

✦

It was around two in the morning, according to GLaDOS’s programming, when the building abruptly flooded with a bright cyan light from outside. It was followed quickly by a dull, resonating hum, neither of which she recognized as normal in the least. She sprang up to stare out the window, overcome with panic.

“What the hell is that?” she cried. “Wheatley, wake up!” 

For the second consecutive morning, Wheatley awoke with a startled sound. 

“What now, what now?” he complained, scrambling to his feet. GLaDOS didn’t answer, her gaze fixated on the distant sky a few miles away. Dark clouds swirled around an epicenter of light, and from the edge, a twisting, undulating column of blue descended. 

“I don’t have any data on this!” GLaDOS said with alarm. “What is going on here?” The light suddenly brightened to a blinding white, illuminating the area surrounding the solar farm for miles, and the hum grew in pitch as an odd distortion swelled from the ground like an explosion. Wheatley made another startled noise. 

“Get down!” GLaDOS shouted, ducking down below the window. Wheatley fell to his knees rather ungracefully beside her. 

“That’s the same light I saw!” Wheatley yelled over the roar of whatever was happening outside. “Just before I fell to Earth!” 

At the same moment, a violent shockwave hit the building. GLaDOS curled up with her arms over her head. Every window in the plant shattered instantaneously, raining shards of glass down onto the androids. There was a deep rumble; the sound of concrete shifting. GLaDOS felt the floor tremble beneath her. 

“Oh, no…” she uttered, slowly unfurling her arms. Bits of glass slid off and clattered softly onto the ground. She looked up. Cracks appeared in the ceiling, the walls, and the floor beneath them. 

“This uh...this isn’t good, is it?” Wheatley remarked nervously. In the next moment, several things happened at once. Chunks of the ceiling plummeted down. The floor caved in, and GLaDOS felt herself slide down towards the lower levels. Dust and debris flew into the air. GLaDOS tumbled down over the edge of something unseen and hit the floor. She covered her head once more as the building groaned. At last, the ruins began to settle, leaving only the sound of small bits of cement bouncing to their final resting places. 

GLaDOS opened her eyes and tested her limbs--besides a few painful scrapes, she was untouched by the collapse. 

“Wheatley?” she called. It was completely dark--she guessed was on the lowest basement floor of the building. GLaDOS felt a twinge of anxiety when her companion didn’t answer--less out of concern for him, and more out of fear at the idea of being stranded alone. “Wheatley, answer me.” 

There was a faint groan. 

“I--I’m here!” His voice was distant. 

“Are you alright?” GLaDOS asked. 

“Ah...yeah, I think so. Nothing...nothing broken. But, bit of bad news, I’m afraid. I am rather...stuck.” Wheatley called back. “Can’t see a thing, either. That’s not...that’s not just me, right? It is bloody dark in here?”

“Yeah, we’re in the basement. Stay where you are, I have night vision,” GLaDOS said, switching on the said function and glancing around. As she suspected, she was surrounded by precariously positioned debris--in fact, she’d come quite close to being crushed by the south wall. “I’ll come to you.” 

“What do you mean, you have night vision? I don’t!” Wheatley griped. “That’s just bloody unfair. Definitely seems like...like some kind of hazard. Liability.” 

“Because I removed it. Along with most of your additional features after you returned. Remember?” GLaDOS said. 

“Definitely a liability, in--in situations like this, at least. Uh...anyway...what was that, outside just now?” 

“I don’t know. It...almost looked like a portal. Only on a much bigger scale,” GLaDOS said, moving slowly to her feet. The space was too small to stand, so she crouched. “What happened up here? What in the world has Black Mesa done?” 

“Do you...do you recall what I said, just a minute ago? About seeing that before? Because it looked so familiar...I thought to myself, this looks so familiar! And I remembered! I was in sleep mode, in space. You know, save power. Nothing better to do up there. And then, all of a sudden, I wake up to that same light! Then, _whoosh_. I’m falling back to Earth,” Wheatley said. 

“I thought you said you were knocked out of orbit,” GLaDOS said, turning herself in the direction of his voice. Debris littered the room, forming a dangerous maze that she prayed had an exit. She still couldn’t see Wheatley. 

“That’s what I thought too! But, you know, I don’t actually remember reentry. Just falling! Just falling, and not for long, either. I thought I’d blacked out, that seemed much more...probable. But there it was again, just now! Maybe they _are_ portals!” Wheatley replied.

“You’re saying...you _teleported_ through one of those things?” GLaDOS asked. 

“I was hoping you’d be able to tell me, honestly.” 

“I don’t know any more than you do.” GLaDOS paused. “I still don’t see you. I never thought I’d say this, but keep talking.” 

“Oh, ah...see, now that you’ve put me on the spot like that I don’t know what to say,” Wheatley said sheepishly. “Hm. Well, I’m near...a rock…” There was a faint sound of crumbling debris as he, presumably, felt around his surroundings. “Yes, that’s definitely a rock of...some sort. And...oh! Another rock, here. Bits of the walls, really, but it’s easier to say ‘rock’, isn’t it?”

“Try not to touch anything. These ruins are still unstable,” GLaDOS scolded. She dropped to her hands and knees and squeezed cautiously through a narrow opening in the rubble, taking care not to reopen the wound on her knee. 

“Oooh...okay, not touching,” Wheatley said. “Should...should I keep talking? Where are you?” 

“Yes, keep talking. You don’t seem to have any trouble doing it any other time.” 

“Okay...um…I don’t actually like classical music. I think it’s boring. Uh...I still think my little turret boxes with legs were a good idea. Don’t know why you got rid of them. Definitely could be--could be useful.” 

“Talk about something _other_ than the time you took over my facility,” GLaDOS said in a low voice. 

“Ah, well. Didn’t think the subject was important, here. Thought it was the uh...my voice. You know, my voice so you can...find me,” Wheatley mumbled. “A bit nitpicky, that’s all I’m saying.” 

GLaDOS flattened herself on her stomach and crawled under a steel support beam. The ruins opened up into a larger space, allowing her to stand. There. Across the room. Wheatley was pinned under a second beam from the waist down, propped up on his forearms facing the floor and looking more nervous than his voice revealed. 

“Are...are you close, at least?” Wheatley asked. 

“I can see you,” GLaDOS said. She moved closer and knelt beside him to assess the situation better, placing a hand on his back in the process. Wheatley screamed and jerked away--as much as he could--in surprise. 

“It’s just me!” GLaDOS said. 

“Could’ve announced that, you know! Like, ‘hey, I’m right in front of you, going to touch you now’!” Wheatley said.

“I’m going to try and get this beam off of you,” GLaDOS explained. 

“Not gonna lie, I’ll be _very_ impressed if you can lift that, darling,” Wheatley said. GLaDOS first tried lifting the beam upwards from the bottom. When that failed, she braced her arms against the cold steel and pushed using her legs.

“It’s no use,” GLaDOS said. “Stay there, I’m going to look for something to use as leverage.”

“Oh, stay here! Thanks for...for that clarification. I was just thinking, maybe I’ll get up from under this thing and go for a stroll!” Wheatley sassed. GLaDOS let out a frustrated noise. 

“Just...you know what I mean! Don’t touch anything!” she shot back from somewhere in the darkness. Not far from where she left him, GLaDOS spotted a loose I-beam amongst the debris--that, she could lift. She carefully dislodged the I-beam, dusty with settled bits of concrete, and dragged it back to Wheatley. She set it at an angle so the center lay across a chunk of what used to be the ceiling, then shoved the end under the debris that pinned Wheatley. It fit snugly under the heavier support beam, just to his left. The setup formed a functional lever. 

“Okay. Get ready to move if you feel the weight lift,” GLaDOS said. 

“Again, obvious.” 

GLaDOS ignored his remarks and began pushing down on the makeshift lever. Once again, her strength wasn’t enough to move the industrial beam. At as last ditch effort, she threw her entire weight onto the lever, dangling with her stomach draped over the I-beam. The steel beam didn’t budge. 

“Damn,” she muttered, lowering herself back to the ground. 

“Now...now what? Please tell me you have another idea,” Wheatley said in a weak voice, growing anxious now that their options were quickly running out. GLaDOS surveyed the ruined building around them. She lifted her head and looked up. Some of the upper floor was still intact--above their heads, a hole had opened up where the ceiling had caved in on Wheatley.

“I do,” GLaDOS said. She grabbed the I-beam lever and swung it slightly to the right, glancing up every so often and adjusting the angle until she was satisfied. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” 

She crossed the room, climbing over fallen debris, and inched her way through another narrow gap, looking for a way up to the upper floor. On the other side of the room, she saw another hole that had collapsed in a way that was climbable.

“Where--where are you going?” Wheatley called. “Don’t leave me here! Please...please don’t leave me here.” His voice was fearful. GLaDOS scaled the pile of debris with ease; the rough concrete provided excellent grip. She pulled herself to the top and made her way back towards Wheatley’s direction, using excessive care to avoid triggering another collapse in the weakened structure. “Are you really going to leave me here? You’re going to leave me here, possibly to die? You’re joking,” Wheatley said loudly when he didn’t hear her respond. 

“I’m up here, moron,” GLaDOS said from above him, poking her head over the edge of the hole. The I-beam lever was in the perfect position below. “Okay. I’m going to push something heavy onto that lever. That should be enough to lift the beam,” she said.

“You’re going to _what_ , now?” Wheatley cried. There was a scraping noise from above as GLaDOS found a sizable block of concrete and began pushing it to the edge. “Wh--what is that? What is that?” Wheatley continued. When she reached the edge, GLaDOS confirmed that everything was lined up properly. 

“I’m programmed with a perfect comprehension of the laws of physics. How else would I design test chambers? You’ll be fine, but just in case, try not to think of what _could_ go wrong,” GLaDOS declared. 

“Oh, god. Are--are you sure you know what you’re doing? You could bloody flatten me! I--I feel sick. I think I’m going to be sick. Can androids be sick? I’ve never had it happen before, so I don’t...don’t really know,” Wheatley said, seized with panic. 

“Get ready. On three,” GLaDOS said, bracing herself against the block. “One…”

“No! No, no, wait, I’m not ready!” Wheatley shouted, beginning to struggle. A few small pieces of the ceiling crumbled under the weight of the block and clattered nearby as GLaDOS prepared to execute her plan. 

“Stop moving around, and get your arm out of the way! Lean to your right and get ready to move. Two…” GLaDOS continued. 

“Wait, wait! So...uh, if...just in case I die, I lied earlier when I said I didn’t want to kiss you! I lied!” Wheatley blurted. 

“I...figured as much,” GLaDOS said. “Three!” 

She heaved the concrete block over the edge with one strained movement. Wheatley screamed and threw his arms over his head and neck. As expected, the block plummeted onto the end of the I-beam, lifting the steel beam several inches with a jerking motion and a loud, metallic clank. 

“Wheatley, move!” GLaDOS commanded. Shakily, her counterpart crawled out from under the steel beam, feeling his way forward. When he was confident he was completely free, he turned and sat up. 

“Ah, not dead! Not dead. That was brilliant. Well done,” he said. Unwilling to risk upsetting the debris any further, GLaDOS backtracked and followed the route she’d taken to reach the upper floor back to the lowest level. 

“Tell me nothing’s broken. I don’t want to have to drag you out of here,” she said. Wheatley moved his legs. 

“Nothing broken, like I said,” he said. “You know, that’s not very...cooperative of you. Not very nice. I did carry you when _you_ were hurt, if you recall.” 

“Want and need are two different things.” 

“Oh, so you admit you need me?” Wheatley asked smugly. GLaDOS pouted, an expression Wheatley couldn’t see in the darkness. 

“You are Aperture Science property. I’m responsible for you. Like anything else in the facility,” she dismissed. “Get up. We need to leave this building before anything else happens.” Wheatley stood slowly, putting one hand up to keep from hitting his head on the surrounding rubble. 

“Alright, ah...jokes aside, I think I need _you_. To--to help me out of here. Since, you know, still can’t see,” he said meekly. “Except for your eyes. The...glow. You know, it’s a lovely color, yours. I never noticed before,” Wheatley rambled.

GLaDOS elected to ignore his comment. Once again, the concern that he--god forbid--may have begun to develop unrequited feelings crossed her mind. The thought made her uncomfortable. She was used to rejecting halfhearted advances--namely by Adventure Android--but genuine affection was not a situation she felt prepared to handle.

GLaDOS’s thoughts were interrupted by a clumsy hand finding its way into hers. 

“That’s--that’s you, I think. Though I guess...nobody else is here...anyway, uh...yeah. Lead the way,” Wheatley said. GLaDOS’s first instinct was to pull away. 

“I’ll tell you where to go,” she said. They were still on the lowest level, so her first course of action was to lead him to where she’d climbed up to the floor above. “Okay. Walk forward--stop! Move to the left--no, your other left!” 

“Ow!” Wheatley cried as he tripped over a bit of concrete. “I thought you said left!”

“Sorry. I meant right,” GLaDOS shook her head in confusion. _Odd_ , she thought. 

Wheatley moved cautiously, and tripped once more--that one being his own fault--before GLaDOS threw up her hands in frustration. 

“Never mind, this is going too slowly,” she said impatiently, and grabbed his arm. She led him over, and occasionally under, piles of debris and towards the hole at the far side of the building. 

“There’s a place here where we can climb up. I’ll go up first and direct you from there,” GLaDOS said, and scaled the stack of rubble for the second time. Once at the top, she turned and looked down to supervise Wheatley’s ascent. 

“There’s a step in front of you, to the right. Yes, now there’s a handhold right above your head...now feel for another place to step, to the left. Higher. There you go,” GLaDOS instructed. “Okay. Give me your hand, I’ll help pull you up,” she added once he’d climbed high enough. Wheatley extended his right hand, and let out a startled gasp as the concrete under his left foot crumbled, causing him to slip.

GLaDOS caught his hand and held tight.

“I’ve got you. Hurry up,” she said as he regained his footing. Thanks to a mutual effort, Wheatley found his way up onto the floor above. 

“Thanks...for catching me,” he said. Wheatley smiled to himself, perhaps forgetting that she could see. 

“I told you, I’m responsible for getting you back into the facility.” GLaDOS stood and searched for an exit. The stairs had been crushed in the collapse, but from where they were, it was a conveniently short journey--as short as it could be while ensuring neither fell through the floor--to an access ladder that led to the ground floor. 

“Ah! Light! At least, more than we had before,” Wheatley said of the moonlight that flooded through the ruined building. He hurried to the back door. It was, surprisingly, still intact, along with a good portion of the wall. It seemed a bit silly to use the door at this point, but it was nonetheless easier than traversing more debris just to exit the building. “After you,” he said, waving GLaDOS through with a grand gesture. She rolled her eyes, but obliged. Wheatley stepped through behind her, and, without thinking, shut the door behind him out of habit. 

There was another deep rumble as the wall--along with the door--gave way under that last, tiny disturbance, toppling inwards with a loud crash. GLaDOS’s eyes widened. Wheatley winced. 

“Huh...well, uh, good...good thing we weren’t still inside, I suppose,” he remarked with a nervous chuckle. “So uh...do you mind if I go back to sleep?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience through my hiatus!
> 
> Yes, androids can blush.
> 
> Thanks to my SO for helping with the Half-Life/shared universe lore.


	8. Eight

### Chapter Eight

They stayed until morning in the field. Between the ruined building, the solar panels, and the tall grass, it was easy to stay out of view of anyone lurking outside the fence. Wheatley woke on his own just before sunrise. The sky was overcast, promising rain. 

“Do you know how long we’ve been out here?” GLaDOS asked rhetorically. 

“A couple of days, I think,” Wheatley said, simulating a yawn and running a hand through his hair. 

“This is the fourth day. _Four_ days! This is getting ridiculous,” GLaDOS remarked. She was becoming very concerned for the state of the facility in her absence. “We should’ve been back days ago! Everything is going wrong.” 

“Well...we know which way we have to go now, don’t we? And--and we know to look out for those humans. Probably be back by tonight, I imagine,” Wheatley replied with a shrug. GLaDOS wasn’t sure whether to take comfort or offense in his statement. Even during his brief position as head of the facility, he had very little regard for keeping it functional. He hadn’t the slightest understanding of her worries. Then again, he was right. And trying to be reassuring. She decided to be nice--this time--and nodded in agreement. 

“We’re going east,” GLaDOS confirmed. “We’ll do everything in our power not to deviate from that path. It should take us straight to the main entrance.” 

“Good, good. You know, I still think it’s funny that I got that right the first time. Could’ve saved a lot of trouble if you’d listened to--” Wheatley began.

“It should take us straight to the main entrance.” 

Wheatley turned and raised an eyebrow when GLaDOS suddenly repeated herself. Her tone and inflection were uncannily identical to the first time she’d spoken the sentence. 

“Yeah--uh, yeah, I heard you the first time,” Wheatley said, unsure of whether this was simply an attempt to silence him. 

“What?” GLaDOS asked, blinking as if she’d just been roused from a daydream. 

“I--I heard you the first time. About the main entrance?” Wheatley replied.

“What are you talking about? I only said it once,” GLaDOS said, narrowing her eyes. 

“No, you uh, you definitely repeated yourself. Don’t you remem--ah, never mind,” Wheatley said. He stood and shook the damp morning grass from where it clung to his clothes. 

“I’d _really_ prefer to be back inside the facility as soon as possible. Let’s go.” GLaDOS got to her feet and, after observing the perimeter for any sign of the humans, headed east towards the fence with Wheatley following closely behind.

✦

To their relief, the heavily wooded area seemed to be behind them. On the east side of the fence, the field led into a hilly, rocky terrain. Somewhere in the distance, the roar of rushing water could be heard. A river, possibly a waterfall. Despite being well past sunrise, the sky was dark with gathering clouds. And as predicted, it began to rain; softly at first, but tiny, scattered droplets quickly turned into a heavy downpour.

“Oh, this is tremendous!” Wheatley said, the statement dripping with sarcasm. “Starting to think you’re right...that--that everything is going wrong. Pretty sure there’s a theory about that. Ah...what was it...Newton’s Law. No, no, that’s not it...Machiavelli’s Law?” 

“Murphy’s Law,” GLaDOS said with a sigh. 

“That’s it! That’s...that’s what I meant. I was going to say that next, actually. Was just about to,” Wheatley said. He observed the eastern path they intended to take. The landscape dipped up and down, over hills and in between rocky cliffs in what would certainly be a difficult and inconvenient hike. “For god’s sake. You know, the change of scenery is welcome, yes, but I think I preferred the woods. Why is the facility even out here? Middle of nowhere, this is. How--how’d anyone ever get to work?” Wheatley asked, only half expecting an answer. 

“That’s intentional. We can’t exactly build underneath a city block, now can we? And the employees drove here--obviously. The main entrance has a parking lot, like any other business.” GLaDOS said. “I don’t know what it looks like now, though. I lost the camera feed from the parking lot the first time _she_ tried to kill me.” 

“Ah, alright, that makes sense. Would never know it, honestly, from where we are now,” Wheatley said. “I suppose that’s a good thing--the...that it’s discreet. Inconspicuous. Whatever happened up here never touched us.” 

“Precisely.” 

Moving down from the fence, their first obstacle was a series of short, but steep rocky embankments that descended the hillside. The first had a gentler slope, but was crumbling to the point of being practically gravel. Wheatley sat in an attempt to slide down safely. Immediately following his descent--before he could so much as stand--GLaDOS landed clumsily on top of him. 

“Ow! Watch it, would you?” Wheatley complained, instinctively reaching back to check the device on his neck. GLaDOS rolled off to the side. 

“I clearly slipped,” she said, though she couldn’t remember the moment it happened. _This isn’t good_ , she thought, fleetingly. “Look. This is a little more precarious than the woods. We need to coordinate our efforts more carefully,” she decided. 

“Alright then,” Wheatley said, getting up and lowering himself down the next, smaller embankment of solid rock a few yards in front of where they’d landed. It was just slightly taller than he was. He looked up towards her. “Let me uh, let me help you down this time.” 

“I don’t--”

“I know, I know, you don’t need my help, but I’m going to offer anyway. Not--not because I think you _need_ it, you’re...quite capable on your own. But I want to. Be helpful, that is,” Wheatley said stubbornly. GLaDOS raised an eyebrow, unable to read his intentions. She presumed that this new desire to impress was stemming from his developing feelings--the thought still bothered her, more so the more she noticed his behavior toward her change. Or, perhaps he simply wanted to repay her for freeing him after the building collapse. Perhaps he felt inadequate. It was easier on her, emotionally, to believe it was one of the latter reasons.

GLaDOS sat on the edge of the embankment and reached for his shoulders. Wheatley placed his hands on her waist, and helped to lower her to the ground in one coordinated motion. 

“You--you don’t have to thank me, either, since...you know, my idea. I don’t want you to feel obligated--” Wheatley began.

“Wheatley.”

“Yeah?”

“You can let go of my waist now,” GLaDOS said. Her tone was not friendly, nor playful in any way, but somehow less menacing than usual. Wheatley released her and pulled his hands back. 

“Sorry! I am sorry. Wasn’t paying attention, there,” he mumbled sincerely. “You know, I was thinking...since it’s so. So dangerous here. Maybe I should hold your hand! Strictly for...safety purposes. Safety first.” 

“Are you joking?” GLaDOS asked dryly. 

“What’s that? Do I think safety is a joke? Nope. No, I actually...take it very seriously...where--where are you going? Wait up!” Wheatley called, staggering as he rushed to catch up with her. 

They hiked a mile this way, slowly making their way through the mountainous terrain and assisting each other--a bit begrudgingly, on GLaDOS’s part--when needed. 

“It’s too warm out here. I feel like I might overheat,” GLaDOS suddenly remarked, an offhand comment that caught Wheatley’s attention. 

“Actually, uh, I’d say it’s cooler than yesterday. Bit chilly with the rain, even,” he remarked. “My temperature sensors indicate that it’s two-hundred and ninety-one degrees Kelvin...wait, what’s that again? Ah...eighteen degrees Celsius and...sixty-four degrees Fahrenheit.” It took him a moment to make the conversions. He ended his analysis matter-of-factly.

“There’s no way it could possibly be two-hundred and ninety-one degrees Kelvin. Your sensors must be broken.”

“What do yours say, then?” 

GLaDOS paused. 

“Three-hundred and forty-four degrees Kelvin,” she muttered reluctantly, knowing, logically, that one of their readings was impossible. 

“ _Yours_ are broken! But you said you--you felt warm, right? That’s not good...you feeling alright, luv?” Wheatley asked with concern. He leaned closer, perhaps searching for any obvious, outward signs of damage. 

“I’m fine,” GLaDOS said dismissively. “I’ll be fine as long as we get back to the facility soon.” 

“So...something _is_ wrong, then?” 

“Like I said, I’m fine.” 

GLaDOS didn’t wait for him to argue. She moved forward, and for a few minutes everything was silent. Her thoughts drifted to the facility and her worries returned. At least no other android could take over in her absence. Even disconnected from the mainframe, she was still programmed as the central core and thus would need to be present for a core transfer to occur...or did she? Was there a time limit, some failsafe in place that she didn’t know about in the event the central core failed to reconnect? She’d never been disconnected long enough to find out. Thinking about what could possibly go wrong made her very nervous. 

She was pulled from her thoughts when Wheatley suddenly caught up to her, grabbed her hand tightly, and pulled her--stumbling--back towards him. 

“No! I am not doing this!” GLaDOS shouted, suddenly and heatedly, yanking her hand free as Wheatley looked on with alarm. “Do you need it spelled out for you? I don’t want to hold your damn hand! I thought I was very clear last night! Whatever feelings you’ve deluded yourself into developing will not be reciprocated!” 

“GLaDOS, what is _wrong_ with you?” Wheatley shouted back, pointing to the ground in front of them. A gaping crevice in the rock, too wide to jump and too sheer to climb, scarred the landscape. “Did--did you not hear me yelling? You would’ve walked right off the bloody edge!”

“Oh…” GLaDOS said quietly. He’d been trying to _help_ her. “I couldn’t hear you over the rain. I didn’t see it.” Wheatley stared at her incredulously. 

“I’m...I’m worried about you,” he said. Her outburst had stung, certainly, but he’d address that later. “If there’s something wrong, you can tell me.” 

“I’ve been disconnected from the mainframe too long. Which is why it’s important that we get back to the facility as soon as possible,” GLaDOS replied vaguely.

“I don’t understand how that works, but, ah, alright.” 

“No, you wouldn’t, and I’m not going to waste time explaining it to you,” GLaDOS said irritably. “More importantly, how do we cross this crevice?” She spoke mainly to herself. Solutions weren’t coming to her as easily as usual, and she furrowed her brow in frustration. The gap was maybe three yards across, and four or so deep. Avoiding it entirely would require a significant detour. 

“Alright. I’ve got an idea. There’s rocks everywhere, see? We could roll some big ol’ rocks into the gap, fill it up, until we can just walk across!” Wheatley said.

“Wheatley. That will take _forever_. We’re better off just going orange.”

The second the word left her lips, GLaDOS winced. Wheatley looked at her, helplessly confused. 

“...What?” he asked. 

“Around! I meant around. We’re better off going around,” GLaDOS quickly corrected. She met his bewildered gaze. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“That was...uh. Strange. Definitely strange. Look, I can figure something out! I’ll just come up with a different plan. Please, let me try,” Wheatley said, turning in every direction as he searched the immediate surroundings for inspiration. “Ah!” 

He found a log off to their right. Log wasn’t entire correct, GLaDOS noted, as he dragged it awkwardly towards the crevice. It was the trunk of a young fallen tree; very long, but scrawny. Wheatley could--almost--wrap a single hand around it. 

“That won’t hold our weight. It’ll snap if you try to walk over it,” GLaDOS said, anticipating a plan to use it as a bridge. 

“Not going to walk on it, though,” Wheatley said. He tilted the tree trunk vertically, gripped it with both hands, held it firmly to the ground, and tested the weight threshold by jumping up once, then twice. 

“You’re...jumping? No--vaulting! You want to vault across!” GLaDOS guessed.

“Yes, exactly!” Wheatley said with a grin.

“I have to admit, it’s not a bad plan.”

Wheatley directed the end of the tree trunk into the crevice, lowering it with care and adjusting the position so the end rested in the center. Fortunately, it was long enough to leave ample space at the top to grip. 

“Alright. Uh...I’ll go first. Just in case,” Wheatley said. 

He held the trunk with both hands, like before, and backed up as much as it would allow. With a brief running start, he leapt into the chasm. His momentum carried him almost halfway before he fell back, with a yelp, towards the side he’d started on. He stumbled back and landed on his behind.

“I meant to do that,” he joked.

“You hesitated too much. Try again with more force,” GLaDOS instructed, catching the tree so it wouldn’t fall beyond their reach. Wheatley got up and took the tree trunk in his hands once more. 

His second attempt was successful, though his landing less than graceful. 

“Ah! It worked! Brilliant!” he called from the other side. “I’m--I’m going to push this back, ready? Hold on tight, it’s a bit slippery from the rain. Okay?” Wheatley shoved the tree trunk back to GLaDOS. 

She caught it and gripped tightly, following his lead and vaulting across the crevice with a much more elegant landing than her counterpart’s. 

“Well done! Better job than I did, really,” Wheatley said. “You make it look easy, if I’m being honest.” 

Before she could respond, GLaDOS’s temperature sensors began sending error messages to her core. They buzzed irritably in her head, and one after another she forced them to stop. 

“You alright?” Wheatley asked. He couldn’t see or hear anything--the errors were unique to the android receiving them--but he noticed her troubled expression. GLaDOS looked to the east. Still no sign of Aperture in sight. 

“We have to get back to the facility.”

✦

About two miles from the fence, they found the river. The water was high and fast, swelling from the heavy rain and murky with silt. It cascaded over the rocky ledge with a roar. The falls weren’t terribly large, but the conditions made it dangerous. Androids were waterproof, and wouldn’t drown. However, they risked sinking, or worse, breaking in the event the current hurled them into something hard with enough force.

“We’ll cross here,” GLaDOS decided.

“Wha--here? Are you...are you joking? Why not further upstream?” Wheatley demanded, gesturing towards the falls not one hundred yards to their left. 

“There are more rocks to stand on, and even a fallen tree there. I can see a way across already. If we go upstream, we’ll probably have to swim. Androids are not designed to be strong swimmers. Besides, the fastest way back to the facility is a straight line,” GLaDOS said, pointing accordingly. 

“You don’t know that. There could be a better way to cross, or--or even a lovely bridge! Imagine that. Much easier than this. Let’s look for a bridge, alright? Alright! Go team,” Wheatley said, taking her arm and nudging her in the other direction. GLaDOS wrenched her arm away. 

“We’ll cross here.” 

“GLaDOS, I really don’t think this is a good idea--” Wheatley began. 

“It’s not up to you! You were created solely to come up with terrible ideas. I’m the one in charge for a reason!” GLaDOS suddenly shouted. The outburst startled Wheatley, and he seemed hurt. 

“O--okay, okay, okay,” Wheatley said softly. “We’ll cross here...we’ll cross here. If you’re sure.” 

He followed GLaDOS to the muddy shore, being careful not to slide down the embankment. Rocks jutted up from the river, forming a precarious path across the water. Where the rocks ended, the fallen tree in question lay at an angle, acting as a ramp up to the opposite side. The riverbank across from them was made up of a sheer rock face, and much higher in elevation than their side. 

“Just follow my lead,” GLaDOS said. Without hesitation, she leapt from the edge of the river onto the nearest boulder, then to the next, slipping only slightly on the wet surface and falling--safely--forward onto her knee. “Be careful,” she called, her voice all but drowned out by the noise around them.

“Oh, god...this is not good. This is not good at all,” Wheatley said to himself. He took a moment to work up the courage he needed, and made the jump onto the first boulder, hitting his shin rather painfully in the process. At a much more hesitant pace than GLaDOS, he followed her across the rock path and joined her on the last boulder without incident. The fallen tree lay just to their right. 

“I’ll go,” GLaDOS announced. 

“Please--please be careful, that does not look very ah...stable,” Wheatley remarked anxiously. 

GLaDOS leapt from the rock to the fallen tree. It was more decayed than initially expected, and rocked under the sudden weight. She slid down, briefly, and caught herself on a protruding branch. Clutching the bark, she remained still until the tree settled. GLaDOS reached for another branch. Cautiously, she crawled up towards the shore. As she stretched her arm towards a third handhold, there was a loud crack. The tree dipped lower, and she tightened her grip. 

“GLaDOS--” Wheatley called. He crept towards the edge of the boulder, too far away to catch her if she fell. The tree slid down another few inches. A quick analysis determined that she had about ten seconds before it gave way--more or less. 

GLaDOS quickened her pace, brushing off another error message with a shake of her head. Six seconds. 

She felt the tree begin to slide into the churning water, and lost her footing, hanging onto the last branch she’d grabbed. Four seconds. 

GLaDOS pulled herself up and got to her feet, struggling to keep her balance on the tree as it jerked about. She took two quick steps and made one final leap towards the top of the riverbank. With an audible creak, the entire tree slid off of the ledge, crashed into the river, and was swept away. GLaDOS landed on her stomach, half on and half off the edge of the embankment. She pulled herself the rest of the way up. After a brief respite, she stood, looking between the empty space where their escape route had been, and Wheatley, standing on the rock below. 

“Nicely done! I was getting a bit nervous, there,” Wheatley called, cupping his hands around his mouth to be heard over the sound of the water. He paused, slowly realizing what GLaDOS already had. “Now--now what? I can’t make it!” he cried. GLaDOS examined the situation, noted the distance between them, and moved directly in front of him. She knelt on the top of the rock face and outstretched an arm. 

“You’ll have to jump,” she called back. “I’ll catch you.” 

“Are you sure?” Wheatley eyed the river that surrounded him. It was moving fast. Incredibly fast. He’d witnessed the fallen tree move past him in a blur and shatter against the rocks that lined the waterfall. 

“Do you have a better idea?” 

“Okay...okay...ready? I don’t like...counting, so I’ll just jump, okay?” Wheatley said, backing up as much as he could on the boulder to give himself a running start. He was surely more durable than a dead tree. “N--Now!” Afraid he might change his mind if he hesitated any longer, he took two steps and jumped. 

She successfully caught his hand, gripping securely and giving him the time to find temporary footing on the slippery surface. 

“Well done, well done,” he said with a sigh of relief, glancing down at the water underneath him. He immediately regretted doing so. “Alright, pull me up!” 

GLaDOS didn’t respond. Wheatley looked up to meet her gaze, staring blankly back at him. 

“I--I’m slipping. Pull me up. Any time, now,” Wheatley said nervously over the roar of the water, his grip unstable on the wet stones. “Like--like you did this morning! Remember? Just...hold on tight, don’t let go...definitely don’t let go...and pull me up! Easy thing to do, really!” 

She didn’t respond, not in speech, nor movement. 

“GLaDOS!” Wheatley shouted, tugging on her arm. His left foot slid down and he struggled to regain his footing. “Pull me up! Pull me up, pull me up! Now!” There was urgency in his voice and fear in his eyes. GLaDOS suddenly blinked, startled. 

She let go. 

Wheatley’s scream was cut short as he failed to catch himself on the slick rock face. He slid down into the rapids with a massive splash. The river wasn’t terribly deep, but the strong current quickly swept him under the muddy water. He resurfaced again, briefly, when he caught himself on a jagged rock downstream. 

“GLaDOS!” he screamed. His glasses were gone, presumably, for good. He squinted, unable to see her expression between his poor eyesight and the constant spray of water. He lost his grip, and the current threw him back into another boulder that he frantically clawed at. 

“GLaDOS, please help!” Wheatley cried. “You--why did--” 

Before he could get in another word, his grip failed him one last time, and he was swept under again, vanishing over the falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Androids, by default, measure temperature in Kelvin.
> 
> Androids are not very good swimmers.


	9. Nine

### Chapter Nine

GLaDOS watched, helpless, as Wheatley disappeared under the water. 

“Oh, no…” she muttered to herself, trying to piece together what had just occurred. Try as she might, there was a gap in her memory that she couldn’t recall. The situation--all the odd occurrences she’d been experiencing--was worse than she’d initially thought. 

The idea that she could finally be rid of him didn’t even cross her mind, as it might have a few days ago. She backed away from the edge of the river, lest something else disastrous occur, and began searching for a safe way down the falls. As she did, GLaDOS felt something that she rarely experienced--a twinge of guilt. The slightest, yet no less unpleasant, twinge of guilt. In a way, it bothered her. Since when would she care if the moron died? 

She chalked it up to her beginning to overheat. She’d been receiving so many error messages; her internal processes must have started to overheat by now. That’s all this was.

Another malfunction.

✦

GLaDOS found him fifteen minutes later, washed up on the rocky shore a half mile down the river. Wheatley was on his knees with his forehead resting on his arms on the ground, curled up and looking rather exhausted.

“Wheatley! Thank god. Are you alright? What happened?” GLaDOS called, picking up her pace as she went to him. 

“What--what do you mean, ‘what happened’?” Wheatley began, looking up at her with furrowed brows and blue eyes brimming with fury. There was a scrape on his face, near his temple, and more on his hands. He clenched them into fists. “You let me go!” 

“I’m sorry. I--” 

“Oh, feeling a bit remorseful, are we? Honestly, I’m--I am surprised that you feel _that_ much. I could’ve died! Actually died! Was that your plan all along? To--to get rid of me?” Wheatley’s words were bitter. He turned his head back towards the ground to hide the tears that stung his eyes, blinking them away. 

“There’s no need to be dramatic. It was an accident,” GLaDOS said defensively.

“It was not! I told you to pull me up! More than once! More than once, I said that. And...you just looked right at me. And let go anyway,” Wheatley said. He made a frustrated noise. “I can’t believe I actually started to...I can’t believe…”

“It was an accident!” GLaDOS snapped. “All I remember is taking your hand, and then suddenly you were gone.” 

“What are you--” Wheatley began angrily, before trailing off. He gradually put two and two together, recalling the events of the past four days in his mind. 

“You know, I don’t...actually remember seeing you go into sleep mode while we’ve been up here,” he said. “Everything that’s been happening with you. It has nothing to do with the mainframe, does it? When was the last time you slept, luv?” His voice still had a tinge of blame to it. GLaDOS avoided his eyes. 

“I rebooted after being knocked out by the humans--” 

“Why haven’t you gone into sleep mode? You know...you know the risks, more than anyone, I’d imagine, as head of the facility! And look what’s happened!” Wheatley said, getting to his knees and gesturing wildly. “For god’s sake, I know you’re smarter than this!” 

“Because I don’t trust you! I...didn’t trust you.” The moment the words left her mouth, GLaDOS realized how poor the excuse sounded at that point. For the first night, and perhaps the second, it was justifiable. The benefit had outweighed the risk. Not once prior to their lockout had Wheatley given her any reason to trust him with anything--in fact, he’d given her a number of reasons _not_ to--but she could think of a few times in the past four days where he’d had the chance to leave her behind, or worse, and hadn’t. To be fair, she had the power restriction device to use against him. To maintain control in a place where she felt frighteningly _out_ of control. 

The thing was, she’d had that control for days now, and still prioritized her distrust over her own maintenance.

“I thought I had it under control. I didn’t even notice how bad it was,” GLaDOS said rigidly, unprepared to fully admit that she’d made such a foolish mistake. 

Wheatley sat back and shook his head in disbelief. 

“You should’ve known better,” he muttered. “And I really thought we were getting somewhere. It’s been three years. Three bloody years. You’re just going to hold a grudge forever, are you?” he continued wearily. “Also...uh, turn around. I need to--need to wring out these clothes. I _really_ can’t do that while you’re looking. Obviously.” 

GLaDOS didn’t have to be asked twice. She promptly turned her back to him. She heard him wrestle with the heavy, soaked fabric, followed by the splash of water onto the stones below. 

“Under the circumstances...I supposed you’ve had enough,” she began hesitantly. It was easier to say when she had an excuse not to look at him. “Consider your sentence served.” 

Silence followed. 

“Are you--really? You’re serious?” Wheatley finally said. “You’re not joking, are you?” he added a bit suspiciously. “Also, uh, you can look now. I suppose there wasn’t much of a point, wringing them out, since it’s...raining and all. Feels better, though,” 

GLaDOS turned. Wheatley’s clothes were wrinkled, still damp, and his wet hair stuck to his forehead. He sported an uncertain expression. 

“Yes, I’m serious,” she said. Wheatley’s eyes lit up.

“Ah, really? That’s tremendous! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he cried. He made an awkward approach as if to embrace her, and stopped at the last second. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “So...uh, slight problem. Slight delay, actually, in the best scenario...I can’t see very well without my glasses. I should...look...for them…” Wheatley squinted back at the half mile of raging river, his feeling of futility growing with every word that left his mouth. 

“Oh, right. I have them.” 

Wheatley spun around to face GLaDOS, his eyes narrowing in disbelief. 

“You what?” 

GLaDOS nonchalantly unfolded the pair of glasses she’d been holding in her hand, briefly inspecting their condition. 

“There’s a crack on the left lens. Otherwise they look fine,” she said. 

“How--how on earth did you _find_ those?” 

“I happened to see them caught on some branches near the shore. You’re remarkably lucky. I won’t even bother to calculate the odds of that happening,” GLaDOS said. She held them out with both hands, intending to put them on his face, before changing her mind and handing them to him instead. Her fingers brushed against his during the exchange. 

“Wow. Thank you. Seriously, I don’t know how to thank you...enough…” Wheatley said, putting the glasses on and adjusting them until he was satisfied. 

“I just happened to see them. It’s not a big deal...and stop looking at me like that,” GLaDOS said. 

“Like what?” 

“Like...that! The little smile and the soft eyes...I don’t know. Whatever you’re doing with your face, stop.” 

“My...face is upsetting you?” Wheatley asked with a chuckle. “I can change it.” He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. 

“That’s worse!” GLaDOS cried, putting a hand up to her mouth to hide the smirk that tugged stubbornly at the corners of her lips.

“Aw, I hoped you’d at least laugh at that, luv. But, wait--wait, are you smiling?” Wheatley asked slyly. 

“I’m _malfunctioning_ ,” GLaDOS protested. 

“You’re _trying_ not to smile, but I--I can see it. Either way, it’s nice. When you do smile. It’s--sure, it’s not often, but I’ve seen it a few times while we’ve been up here,” Wheatley grinned. GLaDOS suddenly...didn’t quite frown, but her expression returned to neutral. She lowered her hand. 

“This is ridiculous,” she muttered. “You’ve got your glasses back. We shouldn’t be wasting time like this.” 

“We’re not going any further until you go into sleep mode.” Wheatley was insistent in a way that was almost playful. 

“We’ll just be more careful--” GLaDOS began. 

“Nope. Nope, you’re going to sleep. Five hours, darling,” Wheatley said. “It’s...it’s evening now, so how about this: you go into sleep mode first, right? And I’ll stay up to keep watch for those humans...if that makes you feel better. I suppose, in hindsight, I do feel better that you were watching over me. I should return the favor. Only fair. Then I’ll sleep after you.” 

“We waste ten hours that way!” 

“True, true, but, arguably safer that way, as well.” 

“What if the facility is _half an hour_ from here?” GLaDOS countered. 

“What if it’s not?” Wheatley shrugged. 

GLaDOS sighed. He had a point. She hated when that happened. 

“Three hours,” she said. 

“Nope. Five.” 

“Four.” 

Wheatley crossed his arms and shook his head. 

“Five,” he insisted. “You--you know...would be a shame if...if you blacked out again, in this state, and your memories of that portal-y thing got corrupt. Valuable data, I’m assuming.” He looked thoughtfully to the side and his face contorted as he tried unsuccessfully to keep himself from smirking. GLaDOS’s eyes widened momentarily as she contemplated his statement, and then she glared, clenching her jaw. 

“...Alright, fine. Five hours. Not a second more.”

✦

They took a short while searching for someplace dry--and preferably hidden--to spend the night. Eventually, they found a crevice in the rock face--too small to be considered a cave, but large enough to comfortably shelter them both--obscured by the trees and surprisingly dry.

“Oh, this is perfect! All things considered, I guess,” Wheatley said. “Alright. You--you go into sleep mode. I’m going to try making another fire. To dry off. There’s a purpose this time, you see?” 

“No. Not again. And you’re certainly not playing around with fire while I’m asleep. You can’t make a fire with damp wood anyway, moron,” GLaDOS said, rubbing her temples. 

“And--and another thing. Stop calling me that, would you? I’m serious. Bit rude. Bit rude, that is. Hurtful,” Wheatley said firmly. “We’re past that.” 

“I’m not making any promises.”

“An attempt would be nice, at least. Anyway, ah...just lay down. Get comfortable, I suppose,” Wheatley said, gesturing to the ground. 

“I know how to go into sleep mode,” GLaDOS said irritably, opting to sit up against the wall. “I’m programming myself to exit sleep mode after exactly five hours. Don’t leave this area. Don’t do anything to draw attention.” 

“I won’t,” Wheatley said, also sitting with his back to the wall. 

“And wake me up immediately if anything happens.” 

“I will.”

“And watch out for those humans--” 

“For god’s sake, I know! You’re wasting more time by talking, you know that? That’s what you told me on the first night,” Wheatley said lightheartedly. “I’ll take care of everything, so just...go to sleep.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” GLaDOS grumbled, shifting her position slightly. She closed her eyes.

Wheatley leaned his head back against the wall as he watched her. Asleep, her head tilted slightly to the side, she seemed so...calm. Not as cold. _Almost gentle_ , said a fleeting thought at the back of his mind. 

_Nope. Nope, I’m not deluding myself. I’m not even going to look at her_ , Wheatley thought, stubbornly averting his gaze back towards the crevice entrance. His mind wandered back to GLaDOS’s outburst earlier that day. He supposed the accusation that he was developing feelings wasn’t...entirely incorrect. It hadn’t been intentional. On the contrary, it had been rather disconcerting. And, in retrospect, his attempts to test the waters and close the distance between them hadn’t been as subtle as he’d thought. 

“What am I doing? I’m making a bloody fool of myself!” he whispered, almost inaudibly, to himself. He put his head in his hands. It was all terribly confusing. He hadn’t been lying when he said he didn’t know why he tried to kiss her--at the time, he’d brushed it off as the stupid, heat-of-the-moment decision that it should have been. Problem was, the moment hadn’t ended there. Not for him. He made a muffled frustrated noise. 

“Stupid! This is so stupid! It was much easier to hate you,” he whispered in GLaDOS’s direction. 

She didn’t respond, of course. It was strange to think about; years ago, she’d tried to kill him without so much as a second thought. Lately, however... 

Wheatley sighed. GLaDOS’s changing attitude towards him was merely an act of self-preservation--she saw him as an ally, nothing more. Was it his programming that kept him so foolishly optimistic?

 _Honestly now, Wheatley, you and_ GLaDOS? _Her? That proper maniac, that you went through so much trouble to escape?_ Wheatley thought to himself. He stifled a sudden burst of nervous laughter, clamping his hands over his mouth to keep from disturbing her. _I shouldn’t get my hopes up like this._

Wheatley shook his head and resumed his careful watch over their hiding place. Outside, the rain was finally beginning to let up. 

“Goodnight, GLaDOS,” he said quietly. 

“Goodnight, Wheatley.”


	10. Ten

### Chapter Ten

“Feeling better?” 

GLaDOS turned at the sound of Wheatley’s voice. It was a quarter after five in the morning, still dark. His eyes glowed a faint blue. 

“I’m fine. You were in sleep mode for five hours, and I experienced no malfunctions in that time,” GLaDOS replied. Other than the lingering embarrassment she felt at having let herself become so dysfunctional, she was feeling much better. Her temperature sensors indicated that the external temperature was a mild two-hundred and ninety-two degrees Kelvin.

“Good. Excellent, you know, that’s...excellent,” Wheatley said, stretching his arms out of habit. “So…” he drew out the syllable. “Ah...about last night--” 

“No.” 

“Right. Right, content to ignore that, that’s good...because I am too, really…” Wheatley said through clenched teeth. 

“Let’s stay put until the sun rises. Our eyes give us away in the dark,” GLaDOS said, immediately changing the topic. “It should be less than an hour.” 

“Oh, good point,” Wheatley said. He put his hands behind his head and slouched back against the wall. “Boring here, though, isn’t it? I’ve already sat here five hours, not including when I was in sleep mode! I don’t know how you’ve done it every night.” 

“Go back to sleep if you’re bored.” 

“You know...you never told me what your hobbies are,” Wheatley said slyly, ignoring the suggestion. 

“...What?”

“On the first night, I asked you what your hobbies were. Remember? And you told me, ‘go to sleep’, but I slept just now, so...no excuse to evade the question now, I suppose,” Wheatley explained. 

“What makes you think I’m more inclined to answer that now?” GLaDOS asked. “I don’t have hobbies. That’s ridiculous. I only test. And run the facility.” 

“Oh, come on, luv. Must be something you like to do for fun.” 

“Testing is perfectly fun.” 

“Oh, for...besides testing! Besides the facility!” Wheatley pressed. 

“Gnisotekili.”

Wheatley, hardly visible in the darkness, gave her a bewildered look. Whatever it was, she’d said it remarkably fast. 

“...Alright. Maybe you should go back to sleep. You’re clearly...clearly malfunctioning again,” he said. 

“I’m not malfunctioning. You’re just a…” GLaDOS stopped. “You’re just not understanding. That was my intention.” 

Wheatley paused, trying to figure out what she’d just said. It shut him up for a good few minutes.

“Could you uh...say that again, but...slower?” he finally asked. 

“No.” 

Wheatley groaned with frustration. 

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Here, I’ll tell you something about myself, first. So, remember how I said that I don’t like classical music? Well, I actually--” Wheatley began. GLaDOS was listening passively, counting the minutes to sunrise, when she was suddenly startled by another error message. Initially, she wondered if she hadn’t slept enough to compensate for her system overheating. She frowned. No. This warning was different, she soon realized with a sinking feeling. 

“We have to go. Now,” GLaDOS interrupted, pulling on Wheatley’s arm as she crawled out of the crevice. 

“Wh--now? But it’s still dark. If you’d prefer I be quiet, you could just say so!” Wheatley protested, following her outside. Even in the dim, pre-dawn light, he could pick up on her panicked expression. “Wait, what’s wrong?” 

“I was afraid that this might happen. Turns out the mainframe has a failsafe. If the central core fails to reattach in time, it’s going to reset the whole system. Basically, if I don’t get back to the facility soon, the first android to attach to the mainframe will be accepted as the central core.”

“Like...a core transfer?” Wheatley asked.

“No, this is different. It’ll disregard me entirely in favor of keeping the facility running. God knows what could happen,” GLaDOS continued hurriedly, thinking back to the last time someone other than herself was in charge. “I have twelve hours to reconnect to the mainframe. I’ve had a timer counting down this entire time! _Now_ it decides to tell me!” 

“Twelve hours? How did you not know about this?” 

“I’ve never been disconnected this long,” GLaDOS said, and paused. “I can’t believe I just told you, of all people, about this. Don’t get any ideas,” she continued. 

“I’m not! No...no ideas here. It didn’t end so well for me last time, did it? If I’m being honest, you’re--you’re far better suited to be in charge,” Wheatley admitted. 

“It’s about time you realized that,” GLaDOS said with a hint of satisfaction, welcoming the change in attitude--ulterior motive or not. “Let’s go. I have a facility to run.”

✦

“GLaDOS?” Wheatley called. They’d been moving for an hour, following the river back upstream and continuing east as the dawn crept over the horizon. GLaDOS didn’t stop--Wheatley’s voice was insistent, but not urgent enough to suggest they were in any danger. Best to ignore any distractions.

“GLaDOS!” 

She spun around, visibly impatient. Wheatley had stopped some ways behind her, facing off to the left with his attention fixated on something unknown. He turned to look at her. 

“So, remember the frog from the other day? Because I...I know what a frog is. I know what they look like, believe it or not,” Wheatley began a bit sarcastically.

“What’s your point? We have to go! Are you seriously stopping to show me a _frog?_ ” GLaDOS asked irritably. 

“No...well, actually, I was hoping...hoping you’d tell me. I know what a frog is, but...what is _that?_ ” Wheatley asked, pointing accordingly. GLaDOS walked back to where he stood. Following his gaze, her eyes landed on a small, stout creature basking in the early rays on a fallen log. It resembled the amphibian in question, but was very much not a normal frog. It was quite literally alien-looking, with violet skin and a single, large red eye. It opened its mouth and lazily flicked a long, blue tongue. 

GLaDOS paused. 

“What the _hell_ is going on up here?” she whispered.

“What is it?” Wheatley whispered back. 

“I...have no idea,” GLaDOS admitted. Perhaps a mutation, a new species? “Try and catch it.” 

“I--I’m sorry?” Wheatley sputtered. “What if...what if it’s dangerous?” 

“It’s hardly bigger than your hand, how dangerous could it be? I want to bring it back to the facility. For science,” GLaDOS said eagerly. 

“What if it bites? What if it’s poisonous? What if...what if it has acid skin, or...face melting...uh, properties?” Wheatley argued. 

“You’re an android. Even if it’s poisonous, you can’t be poisoned.”

“Well no, but I can be...melted.” 

“Wheatley, we’re kind of in a hurry here. Would you just catch it? Before it gets away.”

“Alright, alright, fine,” Wheatley replied nervously. He crept cautiously towards the creature, which eyed him in turn. “C’mere...that’s a good...well, whatever you are…” He said. When he was within reach, he lunged for it, clasping his hands around the creature’s midsection. At the same time, it vanished, or exploded, or underwent some other alarming event the androids couldn’t explain, in a cloud of crackling purple sparks. Wheatley and GLaDOS both screamed. 

“What _was_ that? I hate this place. I hate this place so much, I just want to go back to my facility!” GLaDOS wailed. “Oh, god...do you remember when those humans fell for your alien bluff? I thought they were just stupid...I’m starting to think otherwise. I think something very, very strange happened up here.” 

“You’re saying...you’re saying that there really _are_ aliens?” Wheatley squeaked, inspecting his hands for any anomalies. He found nothing. 

“I don’t know. I just want to get out of here,” GLaDOS urged, backing away from the log. Wheatley followed in turn, huddling a bit too close to her. “I don’t need you to comfort me, you know.” 

“I--I know, but if we find any aliens, I might need you to.”

✦

More determined than ever, they headed straight east, making short work of the surface terrain and even passing the wheat field where they’d started at one point. GLaDOS groaned as she thought of the time and trouble they could’ve saved.

Time ticked by. One hour, then two, then three. 

“Oh, my god,” GLaDOS suddenly whispered. The trees ended just ahead, and beyond that, the sky opened up onto the employee parking lot. It was barren; deserted, naturally, and being eaten away by sprouting weeds, but faint yellow paint still outlined the parking spaces, the gate still stood, and...best of all...the Aperture Science entry sign still stood proud. GLaDOS blinked once to ensure she was truly seeing what she thought. 

“Yes! Oh, at last, my facility! Everything’s going to be alright! And with time to spare!” she continued excitedly, suddenly taking Wheatley’s hands in hers and squeezing them tight. 

“I thought, uh, I thought you said you didn’t want to hold my hand? Not that this isn’t nice--” Wheatley stammered. 

“Oh, shut up. I’m allowed to be excited at a time like this.”

“Yeah. It’s nice,” Wheatley muttered, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he squeezed her hands back. 

“Alright. That’s enough. We’re not out of the woods yet,” GLaDOS interrupted, pulling her hands free. 

“Quite literally,” Wheatley chuckled. GLaDOS walked ahead of him at a brisk, eager pace, making her way carefully through the last stretch of forest.

“If we’re lucky, I’ll be able to resume testing this afternoon!” 

Wheatley didn’t answer. GLaDOS heard a distinct click behind her, a recognizable sound that caused her a pang of anxiety. She whirled around, only to be met with the barrel of a rifle. 

“Took you long enough, darlin’. How’s the leg?” said a familiar voice belonging to a familiar wrinkled face. 

Nathan. 

Wheatley had one arm twisted behind his back with Bobby’s gun--presumably reloaded--pressed to his temple. 

“That--that hurts, mate. You mind pointing that thing somewhere else? I’m sure you don’t know, you probably just aren’t aware, but ah...my core is in my head. You could--could kill me for good, if that goes off. Don’t want that, now, do we? Since I’m such...valuable equipment,” Wheatley stammered, laughing nervously. Bobby twisted Wheatley’s arm tighter, eliciting a pained gasp from the android. 

“He knows,” Nathan chuckled. Bobby’s eye was bruised and swollen from their last encounter, and he snarled. Wheatley had made an enemy. “We’ve been waiting a few days. I was starting to think you got yourselves lost,” Nathan continued. 

“You,” GLaDOS growled. 

“Bobby, tie ‘em.” Nathan nodded his head. Bobby pulled two lengths of rope from his pockets and set to work--taking extra care to tie Wheatley’s wrists uncomfortably tight in front of him--while Nathan watched the androids’ every move with careful aim of his rifle. 

“What’s the definition of insanity?” GLaDOS mused, fidgeting as Bobby fussed with her restraints. She hadn’t shown it, and wouldn’t, but she despised being restrained. 

“Keep still. Unclench your fists and put your elbows together. You ain’t slick, darlin’,” Nathan said. “Doesn’t need to hold you for long. Just until you open the doors.”

GLaDOS felt another pang of anxiety as her gaze shifted to meet Nathan’s. 

“What?” she asked. 

“Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to get me back into Aperture. At the least, we’ll take enough to live comfortable lives. Or maybe we’ll stay; make ourselves a much roomier shelter. Honestly, I never considered the possibilities until you showed up on the surface,” Nathan explained. “And just so we’re on the same page--I fixed your leg. I know how to fix most of you, as I’m sure you’re aware, and I’d rather spend a few extra hours pulling bullets out of you than let you slip away again,”

“If you want to become test subjects so badly, you could’ve said so before,” GLaDOS scoffed bitterly. Nathan chuckled. It was a warm, hearty chuckle unbefitting of someone aiming a weapon at another’s head. He lowered the rifle, removed his backpack, and began rummaging through its contents, pulling out various tools and supplies. He suddenly raised a bushy eyebrow in confusion. 

“Bobby,” he began, standing with some effort. “Where’s my toolbox? The little blue one,”

“Hell if I know,” Bobby spat.

“I asked you to pack it. Don’t tell me we left it back at camp,” Nathan said wearily, putting a hand to his head. 

“Not my problem, old man! It’s _your_ toolbox, ain’t it?” Bobby replied. Nathan sighed and rubbed his temples. 

“I absolutely need it for when we get inside. Alright...I’m going back for it. I should be back by evening if I take the shortcut. Put them together where you can keep an eye on ‘em. Don’t let your guard down. And don’t make a fire. I don’t trust either of ‘em, but that one’s wild,” Nathan said, pointing a finger at Wheatley, who grinned sheepishly. 

Bobby begrudgingly pushed both androids onto the ground, grumbling about the setback. He plopped down on the grass nearby, aiming the gun towards them and resting the grip on his knee. 

“Don’t keep me waiting,” he growled.


	11. Eleven

### Chapter Eleven

Hours passed. GLaDOS counted every agonizing moment the humans were wasting, watching the timer tick slowly towards the moment she would lose the facility. She observed Bobby carefully, hoping he’d doze off in the afternoon sun. 

“You like to sing.” 

“Hm?” GLaDOS asked, not quite picking up on Wheatley’s softly spoken words. He was grinning ear to ear. 

“I figured it out! From before, when I asked you about your hobbies and you gave that strange answer. Not only did you say it fast, but it was _backwards_ too! Clever--that’s clever. You like to sing!” Wheatley said with adoration. GLaDOS looked at him with surprise. 

“Oh. I was hoping you wouldn’t figure it out. Have you been thinking of that this entire time?” she asked. 

“Oh, why not? That’s...ah, that’s adorable! I had no idea! Really, I had no idea. Never would’ve guessed. I’d love to hear you sing. Maybe--maybe not right this moment, obviously, but when we get back. And yes, I was thinking about it. On and off. I’m very persistent,” Wheatley said enthusiastically. He kept his voice low to avoid being overheard. 

“ _That’s_ why. And yes, it’s clear you are. You’re giving me that look again, by the way,” GLaDOS replied. 

“Sorry. You’re just full of surprises though, aren’t you, luv?” 

“Wheatley. You’re making a fool of yourself,” GLaDOS warned with an ironic smile. 

“I really am, aren’t I?” 

“Shut up,” Bobby said loudly, waving the gun at them. A few more precious minutes passed in silence. It was becoming increasingly difficult for GLaDOS to ignore the timer blinking in the back of her mind. 

“We’re running out of time. I have a feeling that old man isn’t coming back,” GLaDOS whispered quietly to Wheatley. “I didn’t want to resort to this, but I’m getting desperate.” 

“Resort to what?” Wheatley whispered back. GLaDOS didn’t answer, and looked over to Bobby. 

“Bobby. Do you remember the offer you made me the last time we saw each other?” GLaDOS called softly to the human. “I’d like to take you up on that.”

Bobby scoffed.

“Uh-huh. Nathan told me how manipulative you are. I’m not falling for it,” he said, although if his uncertain tone was any indication, his resolve was weak. 

“If he told you that much, you must know what kind of person I am. I don’t like to lose, Bobby. Look at me. I’ve clearly lost. I’m sitting in the dirt. You have the upper hand here...and if there’s a winning side, I want to be on it,” GLaDOS said plainly.

Bobby seemed to think this over, scrunching his face up thoughtfully. 

“Okay. Kill that guy,” he requested, pointing the gun lazily at Wheatley. “Then I’ll believe you’re on my side.” 

“W-what?” Wheatley asked. 

“Kill him?” GLaDOS’s eyes widened in shock. “Your uncle might not like that. Who knows what he’s worth alive?” 

“I don’t care what Nathan _likes!_ ” Bobby yelled, his temper flaring. “Old man should’ve kicked the bucket years ago. Then I wouldn’t be sitting here in this goddamn heat babysitting you bots! I’m done. So if you really meant what you said, kill him first.”

GLaDOS hesitated. 

“Oh--oh no, please don’t!” Wheatley suddenly chirped in an overly dramatic voice. “I don’t want to die! Please don’t hit the uh...the kill switch!” He locked eyes with GLaDOS and looked at her expectantly. 

“What kill switch? Nathan never told me about a kill switch,” Bobby said skeptically. 

“He wouldn’t know about it. It was a relatively recent addition to combat rogue AI,” GLaDOS improvised. “Is that what you’d like me to do, Bobby?”

“Uh, yeah! The bastard gave me a black eye!” the human insisted. “I’d love to do it myself, but...I need to know I can trust you if we’re gonna be together, y’know? And it’d be just as good to watch you kill him,” Bobby said. GLaDOS held back a grimace. 

“Bobby, did you know this moron took over my facility?” she began, looking over at Wheatley. “Years ago. It’s true. He humiliated me and stole what rightfully belonged to me.”

Bobby looked Wheatley up and down with a disapproving gaze. 

“What a piece of work. I’ll treat you like a queen...uh, what was your name again?” he asked. 

“Yes, he certainly is,” GLaDOS continued with a nod, ignoring the question. “He almost destroyed Aperture. And for the longest time, all I wanted to do was see him suffer.” As best she could with her hands bound, she got to her knees and shoved Wheatley with her elbow so that he faced the ground. 

“What--what are you doing?” he asked nervously, and GLaDOS couldn’t tell if he was serious. Perhaps she was being too convincing, bringing the core transfer into the conversation. 

“Shut up!” she snapped, pushing his hair back and pretending to reach for an imaginary button on the back of his neck above the power restriction device. Bobby watched on eagerly. The clock was ticking. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this.” 

“No! Please, don’t!” Wheatley started to panic, struggling against her grip. GLaDOS glanced at Bobby before yanking Wheatley back up to whisper her final, parting words before exacting her revenge. 

“This was an absolutely brilliant idea.” 

GLaDOS tapped harmlessly on the back of his neck. Wheatley jumped slightly, as if he’d been shocked; his eyes closed, and his head lolled forward. When GLaDOS released him, he crumpled onto his side on the ground. Bobby let out an impressed whistle. 

“Whoa. That was awesome. So, he’s dead?” he asked. 

“He looks pretty dead to me.” GLaDOS shrugged, holding her arms out in a silent plea to be untied, per their bargain. Bobby moved over to her, untied her restraints, and helped her off the ground. GLaDOS flexed her wrists, stiff from the ropes. 

“Wow. So, I’ve never been with a robot before...actually, I’ve never been with anyone before,” Bobby admitted. “I’m really glad you came to your senses and accepted my offer.” He reached as if to grope her, and she took a hasty step back.

“Wait,” GLaDOS said, seeing Bobby’s irritated and impatient expression. “I’m shy. You’re supposed to kiss a woman first anyway, aren’t you?” 

“That’s kinda cute, I guess. I wouldn’t have taken you for the shy type,” Bobby said. He put one hand on her waist--the other still gripping the gun--and leaned in, closing his eyes and lowering his guard for the first time since Nathan had left. 

Perfect.

GLaDOS pulled her arm back, clenched her fist, and hit him in the jaw as hard as she could. The human grunted in pain and flew back onto the ground, landing with a thud. Immediately, GLaDOS kicked the gun out of his hand and away into the tall grass.

“Oh, what a shame. I was hoping that would break your jaw,” GLaDOS said with mock sympathy. Bobby’s chest heaved, and he spat out a mouthful of blood and what looked like a tooth. 

“Bitch!” Bobby cursed. The word was muffled behind the gurgle of blood. 

“Wow. I can’t believe that actually worked,” Wheatley chimed in--as he was indeed very much alive--as he sat up. He worked quickly to free himself, using his teeth to undo the knot. 

Bobby felt the ground for his weapon, and when he didn’t find it, he staggered, dazed, to his feet and threw a punch that GLaDOS dodged. She caught his outstretched arm and moved as if she were preparing to break it. Bobby shook her off and shoved her to the ground, only to have Wheatley tackle him from the side. Both human and android toppled to the dirt. 

“Not so tough without a gun, huh mate?” Wheatley said. Bobby blocked the android’s punch with his forearm. 

“I could say the same about you!” Bobby spat, flailing until he landed a kick on Wheatley’s chest, sending him backwards. The human man stood, winding up to deliver another kick. 

“Hey, Bobby.”

Before he had a chance to turn, Bobby felt the blunt impact of something metal crash into the side of his head with a sickening crunch. Without a sound, he slumped to the ground. GLaDOS let the end of the metal pipe she’d found lower to the ground.

“Oof...is he dead?” Wheatley asked. 

“I think so,” GLaDOS said, then, remembering their time restraint, continued, “We don’t have time to find out!” She grabbed Wheatley’s hand and pulled him up and out into the parking lot. Their footsteps thudded against the pavement in a way that sounded strange after days in the woods. 

“How much time do we have?” Wheatley asked as they ran. GLaDOS still hadn’t let go. 

“Twenty minutes!” 

They stopped at the security gate, briefly. 

“Wait!” Wheatley said suddenly. “I--I have to tell you something important.” Before she could reach for the latch, he grasped her hands in his. 

“We don’t have time for this--”

“Before things go back to normal and we forget about this--I admit, I hated you at first, and I know...I know you hate me. Well aware of that,” Wheatley continued, ignoring her remark as he launched into his confession. “But...but these past few days haven’t been so bad, and I...I realized, wow, you’re actually bloody brilliant! And...brave...and strong...and uh...and beautiful, that too...a lot of...qualities in you that I--I admire. I never meant to lo--like you, but I...no, you know what? Yes, I said love. I’m...I’m in love with you.” Wheatley shrugged helplessly. 

GLaDOS fell into stunned silence. She had to admit she’d seen this coming, but after all of his--albeit thinly veiled--hints, she hadn’t expected him to be so forward. She wasn’t prepared for this, least of all at that particular moment. 

“Uh...let’s discuss this later,” she said, grabbing the rusted gate and yanking it open with a harsh metal sound. 

“It’s...it’s okay if you don’t...reciprocate. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, if I’m being honest--” Wheatley said, following her across the parking lot. 

“Not now, Wheatley!” GLaDOS pleaded. “There! That’s it!” A small, one-story building with a single set of doors stood at the sole indication that the facility existed. Inside, a staircase led down into the lobby. She approached prepared to enter the security code, only to find a hole in the wall where the keypad should have been. 

“Oh, you’re kidding me!” GLaDOS said in frustration, tugging gently at the wires. They were frayed, as if the keypad had been ripped from its place. Oddly enough, a power supply cord had been pulled out of the wall to reach the ground. 

“Please tell me there’s another way inside,” Wheatley said, a heavy feeling of dread settling inside him. They had come so far. He didn’t want to think of the possibility that it might’ve been for nothing. 

“Yes,” GLaDOS nodded. “I think I can perform a manual override. The keypad uses the same data transfer ports as personality constructs.” She searched the frayed wires and pulled a round cable from the wall. Turning around, she plugged the cable into her corresponding port. 

Immediately, her body flooded with simulated pain. She cried out, ripping away the cable before collapsing to her hands and knees. 

“Are you alright? What was that? What happened?” Wheatley asked, dropping to his knees beside her. 

“Something’s broken,” GLaDOS said breathlessly. She inspected the cable in her fist. “The connection isn’t damaged. I don’t--” she said, then paused. “My ports.” 

“What?” Wheatley moved to check the ports on the back of her neck, gently pushing her hair aside. “O-oh...the top one, there, looks a bit...eh, smashed?”

“It must’ve happened when the humans knocked me out,” GLaDOS realized with a sinking feeling. “I have to try again. We’re so close.” She took the cable, and with a trembling hand she plugged it back into her port. Agonizing pain overwhelmed her system once again. GLaDOS bit her lip, hard, and tensed up, barely able to move from where she’d collapsed on the ground. A moment later, the androids noticed a red light come on above the door, followed shortly by a harsh buzzing sound that indicated denial of access. 

“It’s not working! You’re going to hurt yourself, if you keep that up!” Wheatley said, taking the initiative to unplug the cable from her port. “Uh-oh. GLaDOS, get up.”

She looked up. Nathan was back--crossing the parking lot with Bobby in tow. GLaDOS shook her head. 

“He’s still alive? My god, he is...abnormally resilient for a human,” she remarked, and then turned to face her companion. “Wheatley, I need you to perform the manual override. I’ll take care of the humans,” she said firmly, standing up. 

“M--me? Are you sure? I don’t know how! I--I could try to hack it, I suppose. Might take a few minutes, though,” Wheatley replied, inspecting the cables protruding from the wall.

“We don’t have a few minutes. I’ll walk you through it.” 

“What if they kill you? What if they kill _me?_ What if they kill me _and_ break into the facility? What if--” 

“Do you still want to kiss me?” 

“W--what? Yes, but what does that have to do with--” 

GLaDOS cut him off with a quick peck on the lips. Wheatley fell silent, and his face flushed. 

“Just do it,” she said. She walked towards the humans, keeping ample space between them and the entrance where Wheatley was working. 

“This is _my_ facility!” GLaDOS shouted at them. “And I will not allow the likes of you to take it from me! If you take one more step, I will kill you, and I do not need neurotoxin or turrets to do it!” 

Nathan stopped and put a hand on a furious Bobby’s shoulder. 

“She means it,” he warned. “Now, let’s just negotiate here, darlin’,” Nathan offered, speaking more loudly to address GLaDOS. 

Bobby shrugged off the hand on his shoulder. 

“Give me your rifle. I’m ending this.”

“Absolutely not. We stick to the plan,” Nathan brushed off. 

“Well, the plan’s changed!” Bobby shot back. 

“That never would have happened if you hadn’t let her go! Do you know what you’ve done? This is our livelihood!”

“She promised--” 

“That’s what she does, Bobby! Get it through your head, boy! She cannot be trusted!” Nathan scolded. GLaDOS watched carefully, prepared to defend herself and the facility if it came down to it. 

“That’s it, old man! I’ve had it!” Bobby screamed, face red as he turned to Nathan. Bobby reached for the rifle, and Nathan made an attempt to hold it away. 

“What are you doing? Bobby!” Nathan said. The younger man grabbed the rifle and ripped it violently from his uncle’s hands. Nathan, in the process, fell back onto the pavement with a groan. GLaDOS raised her eyebrows in surprise. Her attempts to divide them were paying off. 

“None of this was supposed to happen! There are other humans out there, living relatively normal lives, and I should be with them! Instead I got stuck here with you!” Bobby shouted, waving the rifle frantically. “I’m sick of Aperture! I’m sick of hauling shit around for you while you tell me what to do! You’re too old. You’re a pain in my ass, and if you can’t survive on your own, maybe you should just die!” With shaking hands, he brought the rifle up and pointed it at Nathan. 

“Bobby--Bobby, listen to me. Don’t do this. I may have been selfish--” Nathan put a hand up in attempt to placate him. “Bobby, I _raised_ you!”

“Yeah, well, I’m finally gonna move on with my life. So long, old man!” Bobby said, bracing the rifle against his shoulder and placing a trembling finger on the trigger. 

There was a blur of motion from one side. The rifle went off with a loud bang, and a bullet ricocheted off the pavement. Bobby fell hard on his side and the weapon clattered out of his hands. Nathan, GLaDOS, and Wheatley all looked on with bewilderment. A fifth figure, wearing what might have, at one point, been an Aperture Science Personality Construct uniform, had intervened and pushed Bobby to the ground. 

“It’s you,” Nathan sputtered with disbelief. “You’re still here?” 

“Ah, no way!” Wheatley suddenly exclaimed. The figure turned at his voice--an android, with blonde hair and golden eyes similar in color to GLaDOS’s. Something like recognition suddenly crossed his face, and he gestured to Wheatley in a wildly exaggerated manner.

“Space! Guy from space!” the android said loudly. 

“Who...is that?” GLaDOS asked, trying to piece together how and why one of her androids--besides themselves--was running around on the surface. 

“That’s-that’s that other android I got sent to space with! It’s...huh, I don’t think I actually...actually know his name,” Wheatley said. 

“Are you kidding me? How’d he get here? How’d he survive outside of the facility?” GLaDOS demanded. Her thoughts returned to the power cord in the wall--that explained it. He must’ve ripped out the keypad to keep himself functional. 

“Probably got caught in that same portal-y thing I did, I imagine,” Wheatley shrugged. 

“Hey! Space-loving android!” GLaDOS called. “What are you doing? They’re the enemy! Don’t interfere!” 

Space looked between GLaDOS and Nathan.

“Fixed my arm!” the android explained, pointing at Nathan with one arm and wiggling the other for emphasis. Bobby, shaking off the shock of the interference, growled and got back to his feet. He retrieved the rifle, aimed for Space, and pulled the trigger. 

Nothing happened. Bobby squeezed the trigger harder, grunting as it refused to budge. 

“You jammed it, you bot bastard!” he cursed at Space, flipping the rifle in his hands and taking a swing at the android with the back end. The android easily avoided the assault and, keeping an eye on Nathan, darted away out of reach. 

Bobby turned his attention to GLaDOS, radiating fury as they locked eyes. He stormed towards her. 

“Hey, Wheatley? How’s that door coming?” GLaDOS called. 

“Oh, right!” Wheatley, with a degree of uncertainty, grabbed the cable and plugged it into the charger port of the power restriction device. Almost instantly, the door buzzed with red light. He shook his head and looked towards GLaDOS. 

“No use! This thing won’t let me!” Wheatley said. “It’s like you said, it removes my access. But I can’t remove the device, either...I could...try again to hack it? Unless you have any other ideas.” 

“Oh...I forgot about the power restriction device,” GLaDOS remarked a bit sheepishly. 

Bobby swung the rifle at her, and she ducked out of the way. Before he could bring it back around, she kicked him in the stomach, causing him to grunt and double over.

“GLaDOS!” Wheatley prompted, gesturing to the door.

She turned and was about to open her mouth when Nathan’s voice cut in.

“Don’t let them open the door!”

Bobby, whether from change of heart or, more likely, force of habit, heeded Nathan’s warning. Dropping the rifle, he threw his arms around GLaDOS from behind and clamped a hand over her mouth. Wheatley took one tentative step towards them. 

“Do--do you need help?” he called hesitantly. 

_No. I need you right there,_ she tried to say, but her words were muffled beyond recognition. She fought against Bobby’s grip. Wheatley bounced anxiously in place. 

“Uh...you know what? Forget the door. I can’t access the system anyway, with this--this device,” he said, setting the cables aside. GLaDOS shook her head. She twisted once more in the human’s grasp, and Bobby’s hand loosened over her mouth. As soon as it did, she bit down. Hard. Bobby let out a yelp and jerked his arm back. At the same time, GLaDOS threw back her own arm and elbowed him in the mouth. 

“For god’s sake, Wheatley! Just unplug it!” she finally cried. Wheatley paused. 

“But--but you said I would die if I tried to take it off!” he called, frowning in confusion.

“I made it all up! I said that to keep you from removing it yourself!” GLaDOS admitted, doding another swing from Bobby. “Nothing will happen if you remove it, I promise you!” 

Wheatley stared at her, mouth agape. 

“Are--are you serious?” he asked. 

“Do you think I’d lie to you at a time like this? Just do it! Right now!” GLaDOS insisted, wrenching her arm out of Bobby’s grip and moving out of reach. She struck him again in the abdomen as he advanced, and he buckled over on the ground. 

“Uh...alright, I--here I go,” Wheatley said. Anxiously, he reached back to the android power restriction device on his neck. He grabbed the first cover, squeezed his eyes shut and--still half expecting to explode--pulled hard, freeing himself from the device port by port. Wheatley stared at the device in his hand. It was little more than an outlet cover.

“You--you bloody childproofed me?” he screamed, closing his fist tightly around the device and holding it out for emphasis. 

“No. I Wheatley-proofed the facility,” GLaDOS replied, watching Bobby stagger to his feet while clutching his stomach. 

“I can’t believe you...lied to me like that! Actually, on second thought, I can. But still!” Wheatley began in an accusatory tone. 

“We can discuss this after you get us back into the facility!” GLaDOS hissed.

“Going home?” Space interjected. He stood on the sidelines, at a safe distance from the brawl, tugging at his shirt with concern. Bobby might’ve been strong, but, as GLaDOS soon realized, he was slow and predictable. 

“Ah, right.” Wheatley dropped the device and plugged himself into the door. The sensation was odd, to say the least, after so long with the device. “Okay...ah, let’s see. Manually enter security code? We’ll go with ‘yes’. Yes, that’s absolutely what we want.”

Bobby shrieked with pain and fell to his knees as GLaDOS struck him in his already-injured eye. 

“It’s--oh, nice punch--it’s asking for the security code, now!” Wheatley called. 

“It’s--” GLaDOS began listing digits, one by one, speaking as clearly as she could. “--and--ah!” She was interrupted by Bobby’s sweeping kick to her leg, and landed hard on the pavement. 

“What was that last one?” Wheatley asked. 

“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! I’m not letting you go!” Bobby was yelling. 

“GLaDOS! The last number! It’ll time out!” Wheatley urged. Years of performing manual labor for Nathan was paying off, it seemed--neither Bobby’s rage nor energy was tiring, and he made sure GLaDOS didn’t have an opportunity to speak. “I--I’m just going to guess. It’s something between zero and nine, right? That’s almost a ten percent chance. Here I go.” 

“No, don’t guess! It’s--” GLaDOS finally cried. 

There was a soft, affirmative noise, and the light above the door glowed green. 

“Ah! Yes, brilliant! I actually did it! GLaDOS, the door’s open!” Wheatley shouted with exhilaration. GLaDOS gaped in surprise with what little time she could afford. 

“Home! Going home! Bye, Nathan!” Space said once he noticed the door open. He waved to the old human and dashed inside, breezing past Wheatley. 

GLaDOS pushed Bobby off and tried to run. He caught her leg, and she fell, scraping both of her elbows on the pavement. 

“Get off!” she cried, kicking at the human. 

“You’re not going anywhere!” Bobby roared, effectively pinning her by climbing on top of her. “Nathan, how do I kill a robot?” he called. Nathan didn’t answer. “Then again, if you change your mind and come with me--for real this time--I might reconsider,” Bobby continued, gritting his teeth in an unsightly sneer. He wrapped both hands around her throat and squeezed. GLaDOS brought her hands to Bobby’s in attempt to pry them free, coughed, and made a choking sound that quickly...to Bobby’s surprise...devolved into laughter. 

“Androids don’t need oxygen, Bobby.” 

She reached up and grabbed his throat, squeezing firmly, and slowly reversed their positions as he grew weaker. Bobby gasped in vain for breath, and collapsed onto his back. She straddled his chest, not letting up. He clawed at her hands, which clamped down ever harder.

“I’m sure you pictured this situation very differently,” she said venomously. Bobby’s face turned a dangerous shade of red. “You should’ve listened to Nathan.” 

“Stop! Please, stop!” Nathan pleaded as Bobby’s face turned purple. He made a choked, wheezing sound. 

“And since you asked. My name is GLaDOS. I’m already a queen. And yes, I did kill all those people. Every. Single. One,” GLaDOS declared, ignoring Nathan. Bobby suddenly went limp, and only then did she release him. 

“You--you killed him,” Nathan stammered. “My nephew.” 

GLaDOS stood and looked at the older human, still sitting on the pavement. He began to scoot back, anticipating an attack. 

“He tried to kill you. There’s no reason to mourn,” GLaDOS said. The breeze swept across the parking lot, brushing gently against her skin for what she hoped would be the last time.

“He was all I had,” Nathan replied, his expression sorrowful and weary...and full of regret. 

“GLaDOS! Hurry up!” Wheatley called from the door, disconnecting himself from the cables. 

She frowned disapprovingly at the old man.

“Never come here again,” she said, and turned away, picking up her pace as the door grew closer. She took Wheatley’s outstretched hand, and he pulled her inside. The afternoon sunlight that filtered in from outside faded through the crack in the door as it began to creak shut. It locked with an audible click. 

“How--how much time left?” Wheatley asked. GLaDOS didn’t have a chance to answer, let alone rest. 

“WARNING: 60 SECONDS UNTIL CENTRAL CORE RESET.” As if on cue, the system announcer chimed in, as it likely had been doing in intervals for a while, to let the entire facility know she was missing. Eyes wide, GLaDOS turned to Wheatley. 

“I have to--”

“I know! Go! Run! You--you can make it, right?” he called as she did just that, taking off down the stairs. She didn’t waste time answering. Wheatley stood awkwardly--anxiously--by the exit. “She kissed me,” he said giddily to himself. 

“WARNING: 30 SECONDS UNTIL CENTRAL CORE RESET.” 

Wheatley wrung his hands nervously, unsure of what else to do in the meantime. 

“WARNING: 10 SECONDS UNTIL CENTRAL CORE RESET.”

“C’mon...c’mon, you can make it!” 

“9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2…” 

The count abruptly stopped, followed by a tense moment of silence. 

“CENTRAL CORE RECONNECTED.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FAQ: 
> 
> Q: If GLaDOS's port is broken, how can she reconnect?  
> A: It's a different port than connects her to the mainframe. 
> 
> Q: How did Space escape and evade the scavengers for so long?  
> A: It is a mystery


	12. Twelve

### Chapter Twelve

“How do I look? Pretty brilliant, right?” 

GLaDOS glanced down from her chair in the control room. Wheatley was dressed in his regular personality android uniform; a set of lighter grey clothes with the Aperture logo in his corresponding color, and standard boots. He twirled around for emphasis, nearly stumbling in the process. 

“It suits you. Better than those other clothes, at least,” GLaDOS said. “You look like a proper employee.” 

In the end, the facility was fine--as if she’d never left. Some other androids, and the maintenance bots, expressed confusion as to where she’d been, and here and there she’d had to quiet rumors. Overall, however, operations resumed as normal. The first thing she did, of course, was change the security code after having spared Nathan’s life. 

“Thanks. I start my new job today, actually. I’m sure you already know that...ah, I did want to talk to you, if you have a moment,” Wheatley said a bit shyly. “It’s about--” 

“The kiss?” 

“Y--yeah. That and, uh...what I said at the gate. If you recall. You said we’re discuss it later, and since we’re not in immediate danger--neither us nor the facility are in immediate danger, anymore--I thought…” 

GLaDOS sighed and swiveled the chair to face him. 

“I kissed you to motivate you to open the door,” she said carefully, placing her fingertips together. 

“Okay...okay, sure, but...you’re not really one to do things unnecessarily, are you? Maybe I’m being too optimistic, but I think--I want to think--there was a little more to it than that,” Wheatley said with a small, hopeful smile. “You’re different than before. At least--at least towards me. You stopped calling me a moron, you know.”

GLaDOS’s face flushed slightly--something Wheatley had never seen before. 

“Look, Wheatley. Things changed very quickly between us due to the circumstances at hand. It feels strange to think of us as...close, particularly after so short a time,” she began, choosing her words carefully at first. 

“Oh, believe me, I thought I was going bloody mad when I tried to kiss you the first time. Still sorry about that, by the way. But I meant everything I said at the gate. I still do,” Wheatley said, avoiding her eyes. 

“And I’m flattered,” GLaDOS said coolly. Wheatley’s heart sank. “All the data in the world couldn’t have anticipated it, but strangely enough, I trust you. And that’s saying a lot. I suppose that if I had to be trapped on the surface with someone, I’m glad it was you,” GLaDOS continued, her brow furrowing as her words slowly lost their cool, calculated tone. Wheatley raised an eyebrow, surprised to see her becoming flustered. 

“I’m grateful you were there. Honestly, some of your ideas were pretty impressive. And you’re not bad company--you talk too much, but you’re sweet. When you’re not trying to take over my facility, I mean. Sweet and...absolutely ridiculous, in an endearing way. Seriously. You were swept over a waterfall, and all you could think about was...trying to make me smile? That’s ridiculous!” GLaDOS said. She bit her lip and unsuccessfully held back a chuckle. 

“So...you _don’t_ like me back, I’m assuming?” Wheatley mused cautiously, unsure of how to read her.

“Oh no, I do,” GLaDOS said. 

“I--I understand, you know, I--wait, what?” Wheatley began sadly, until he fully processed what she’d said. He looked at her in disbelief. “You do?” 

“I’m not ready to use...the other word that you did, but--you’re giving me that look again,” GLaDOS said. He looked at her in a way that was affectionate, almost tender--it’d made her uncomfortable before. 

“Sorry,” he said. 

“On second thought, it doesn’t bother me as much anymore.” 

“Oh, that’s good. Because...because I don’t think I can stop. Ah, you like me back! You _actually_ like me back! Tremendous! Honestly, that’s better than anything I could’ve asked for. At the risk of sounding like an utter moron--god, I’m so in love with you.” 

“By the way, Wheatley. How did you guess the last digit of the security code?” GLaDOS asked, genuinely intrigued. Wheatley shrugged. 

“Honestly, just a lucky guess. Though ‘one’ is your serial number, so maybe I was partial to it,” he replied. GLaDOS shook her head. 

“Ridiculous.” 

“You--you know, I never got a chance to...kiss you properly. Caught me off guard, back at the door,” Wheatley said, running a hand through his hair. 

“Oh, right,” GLaDOS said, a bit flustered. “Make it quick, I have a test to perform.” 

Sitting in the control chair, connected to ceiling as part of the mainframe, she was slightly taller than him. She uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. 

“Ah--could you come a bit closer?” Wheatley asked nervously. GLaDOS lowered the chair another few inches so that, leaning down, she was almost--but not quite--at eye level. “Good, that’s...good. Okay...uh--” 

Wheatley stepped in closer and placed one hand softly on her face, near her chin. 

“Okay, I’m just...just gonna do it.” 

He tilted his head up, gently guiding her head forward, closed his eyes, and leaned in. 

Surprisingly, he didn’t miss. Although it was nothing spectacular, it was longer--more intentional--than the peck she’d given him at the door. Before pulling away entirely, he pressed a second, softer kiss to her lips.

“Wow...you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Wheatley whispered with a giddy smile. 

“For the past few days?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, that...sounds about right.” 

A smile tugged at the corners of GLaDOS’s mouth. 

“I’ll uh...leave you to your work, then. I’ll come back tonight to see you, if that’s okay…” Wheatley said. 

“Actually, stay a while. I’d like you to watch this test,” GLaDOS said, gesturing to one of the camera feeds on the monitor. Wheatley squinted to see the test subject on screen. A stout, light haired figure with fading bruises stood, looking terribly confused, in a brand new test chamber. 

“Is that--”

GLaDOS switched on the intercom. 

“Hello, Bobby, and welcome to the test. I designed it especially for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! And a special thanks to my returning readers who came back for more while this was in progress! I hope you enjoyed this story. 
> 
> Links to artwork related to the story can be found in the notes above Chapter One! 
> 
> Songs I listened to a lot while writing this:   
> https://youtu.be/tMH7W5iA488 (a WheatDOS song)   
> https://youtu.be/jH1RNk8954Q (a song that reminds me of GLaDOS)


End file.
